"Runaway Bride"
Review written by: Alex Sandell

What's the story?

Maggie Carpenter (Julia Roberts) has a problem with leaving men at the alter.  It's already happened three times when Ike Graham (Richard Gere), a columnist for USA Today, gets fired from the paper for writing a scathing commentary on Maggie.  Fisher (Hector Elizondo) figures Ike should take the ball and run with it, by writing a freelance story on Maggie's upcoming fourth wedding.  Having nothing better to do, Ike takes Fisher's idea and heads off to the small town of Hale, Maryland.  Once there, there's no telling what will happen (unless you've seen a romantic comedy prior to this one). 

So how is it? (Get to the point, already)

It isn't that Runaway Bride is a horrible movie, it's that I've already seen a slightly different version of it done dozens of times before.  There is absolutely nothing new here.   If you're looking for something unique, you may want to check what's playing in the screen over to your right, because you're not going to find it in this film.  If you're looking for an extremely lighthearted romp through a bunch of cliches that are as worn out as the old comforter that you occasionally pull out, just to remind yourself of days gone by, you might find this movie passable.

Runaway Bride's only reason for existence seems to be to remind us of movies' past (and I'm sure the studio wouldn't mind being reminded of how much a formula movie such as this one can rake in at the box-office).  If you weed through all the poorly written jokes, you will come up with a few slightly tarnished gems that can still evoke a couple of laughs.  If you sift through all of the sugary-sweet nonsense you've seen before, you might end up finding something that touches a button or two, and ends up sending your mind back to some lost romantic comedy that you thought was long forgotten.  If you look past all the goofy over-acting, you should be able to scope out a few subtle moments that will remind you of each of the performer's better days.   Still, when all is said and done, memories are for video stores.  This film needed something fresh.

What does it make you feel like eating?

With Julia Roberts on my brain, I couldn't give that question a fair answer.

What are you selling us here???

Federal Express, USA Today, Pepsi (why is Pepsi in EVERY movie, nowadays?) and some other thing that I forgot all have pretty significant product placements. 

If it won an Oscar, what would it be?

"Try harder next time!" - Runaway Bride

On a scale of 1-10?

4

Agree? Disagree? Wanna have cyber-sex? Email me at alex@juicycerebellum.com

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Text (Copyright) 1999 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. If you copy this, without my permission, I'll stick my runaway wife on your ass!

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