"Austin Powers:   The Spy Who Shagged Me"
Review written by: Alex Sandell

What's the story?

Dr. Evil (Mike Myers), with the help of Fat Bastard (Mike Myers), steals Austin Powers' (Mike Myers) mojo back in the swinging sixties.  Austin has to travel back in time to confront the evil Dr. Evil (too many evils?) and get his mojo back to shag the super sexy spy Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham).

So how is it? (Get to the point, already)

I've always considered the original "Austin Powers" to be a good skit gone bad.  At 90 minutes, it was too long and the joke ran dry before my $7.50 soda.  By the time I came back from getting my refill, I had met, dated and grown so tired of Austin Powers, that I just wanted to slap him in the face, tell him to "behave," and never have to see him again.  Yet, like in most relationships, the shunned always has to pop back into your life and beg you for a second chance.  Austin being no exception.  So, like in most relationships, even though I knew better, I let Austin have the second chance he tried so hard for.  And, like in most relationships, the second time turned out no better than the first, and wound up making everyone involved feel cheap.

Once again, we have the same jokes, the same characters, the same women with really nice bodies, and lots of the same shots of Mike Myers mugging for the camera in the exact same way he did before.   In other words, "The Spy Who Shagged Me" is just more of the same.   You could compare this film to "Lucky Charms" cereal; it may have added a marshmallow or two, but it still winds up tasting just as it did last time you tried it.

The new marshmallow floating around in this shallow pool of fart jokes is "Mini-Me," played magically by the nutty "little person," Verne Troyer.  I have to admit, this midget did have some damn funny scenes, and the final fight between Austin and Mini is nearly worth the price of a bargain matinee.

Still, if you rent the first one and fart a few times during it, and possibly pull out your genitalia and make some really obvious jokes about it, you'll have all the creativity and "newness" the second "Austin" has to offer, and it will only cost you 99 cents.  Wait for "Spy Who Shagged Me" to play on "Dinner and a Movie."  At least that way, you can pass the time by cooking as the filmmakers try to convince you that hearing someone pass gas in a mock 1969 Great Britain is highbrow humor.

Where's "Wayne's World" when you need it?

What does it make you feel like eating?

Depends on what "Dinner and a Movie" is cooking that night.

What are you selling us here???

Holy Product Placement!  This movie advertises EVERYTHING.  Virgin, Starbucks, AOL . . . the list goes on and on.  If you want to know exactly how many products are placed, simply print out a list of every corporation in existence and every product that they've ever created, tack it on a dartboard and throw a dart at it, nine times out of ten you'll hit something "Austin Powers:  The Spy Who Shagged Me" advertised.

If it won an Oscar, what would it be?

"Best Movie Written By A Five-Year-Old" - "Austin Powers:  The Spy Who Shagged Me"

On a scale of 1-10?

4 (for Mini-Me and Heather Graham in all those GROOVY sixties' outfits)

Agree? Disagree? Wanna have cyber-sex? Email me at alex@juicycerebellum.com

Text (Copyright) 1999 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. If you copy this, without my permission, or even copy the "juicy" format, I'll send Mini-Me after you!

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