"South Park:   Bigger, Longer, and Uncut"
Review written by: Alex Sandell

What's the story?

Kyle, Kenny, Stan and Cartman (voiced by Trey Parker and Matt Stone) have a bum buy them tickets into an R rated, Canadian film titled, "Asses of Fire."  The film is full of obscenities (and fart jokes), all of which the kids soon pick up on.  Before you know it, we have the little tykes running around spewing out more curse words than Eddie Murphy did, back when he was cool.  Soon, upset parents, needing something to blame, decide to point their angered fingers at Canada.  A war soon ensues, after Canada retaliates by bombing the Baldwins, and from here on out, we're treated to lots of blood, perversion, bodily-functions and chipper showtunes. 

So how is it? (Get to the point, already)

South Park:   Bigger, Longer, and Uncut couldn't have been released at a better time.   This film is a middle-finger in the face of all of those who are blaming the Columbine shootings on entertainment.  It's a slam to the MPAA, Parent Groups, Religious Groups, the military, and basically, anything America holds sacred.    

The film is so shockingly vulgar, and amazingly absurd, you just have to laugh along with it (unless you're a stupid moron).  The catchy songs, which put hardcore rap to shame, in the "raunchy lyric" department, grow a bit tiresome, but there are more good than bad, so they don't wreck the movie, just weaken it, slightly.

Satan falling deeply in love with Saddam Hussein was rather touching, and it was just so sad when all Saddam wanted to do was fuck, when Satan wanted something so much more.  The less Politically Correct this movie gets (and, trust me, there is not one damn thing "PC" about this film), the funnier it is.  The way the Americans laugh over Canadian's accents.  How the black soldiers are to be the first sent in during a Canadian ground war, using them as "shields" for the white folk.  And, more than anything, how Bill Gates gets . . . well, I won't give anything away.  Trust me, you'll laugh.

Overall, the film is a blast.  A liberating movie that needed to come out just when it did.  Don't turn off your thinking caps, either; behind all the fart jokes and "naughty" words, there's actually a strong message about freedom of speech and accepting one another's differences.  What could be better than that?

What does it make you feel like eating?

A Clitoris.   (You'll understand, once you've seen the movie.)

What are you selling us here???

Free Speech as more than just a concept.

If it won an Oscar, what would it be?

"Funniest damn movie in a long fucking time" (Sorry about the language, I've been corrupted) - South Park:  Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

On a scale of 1-10?

9 (had to knock off a point because of the excess songs)

Agree? Disagree? Wanna have cyber-sex? Email me at alex@juicycerebellum.com

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Text (Copyright) 1999 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. If you copy this, without my permission, I'll have those little South Park bastards believing you're KENNY!

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