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Chinatown

Adaptation

Annie Hall

Trainspotting - Choose Life

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I'm a self-serving piece
of junk, busting people
committing the same crimes
that I committed.  Catch me,
bitch, if you can! (This
caption isn't going to make
any sense if you haven't seen
the film.)

Catch me if you Can
Review written by: Alex Sandell

Steven Spielberg has accomplished almost everything a film director possibly could, in a single lifetime.  Leonardo DiCaprio has consumed a lot of booze while proving himself to be one of the best young actors around, in only a few short years.  Tom Hanks has proven, countless times, that a fairly bland actor can win the Best Actor award numerous times, by being fairly bland (and a bit pudgy). 

In, Catch Me if You Can, it seems that all three of them have something to prove, but no one more than Spielberg, himself.  What in the hell was this guy thinking?  It seems his intent was to hire top-notch actors to star in a snooze-fest directed by no one other than himself.  This movie is boring.  This movie is going to bomb so badly that A.I. will look like a friggin' blockbuster, in comparison.

Good Chucky Cheese's Pizza Parlor was this hard to sit through.  I am convinced that Spielberg had one more thing to prove as a director, and that was to see how much money a humdrum film could gross with his name attached, along with two big stars collaborating in his droll experiment in tedium. 

It's not that the film was horribly made; it has its quality moments.  I was particularly impressed with John Williams's score.  It sounded like something straight out of the fifties, even though the film took place a decade later.  It's not as if Spielberg cared; this is nothing more than a trial for him.  Get big actors and composers, get himself as a director, and advertise the movie as something a crowd can have fun with, and see what happens.  Unfortunately, nothing does.

"Bland" is far too kind a word for this piece of monotony.  Before you write me off as a Spielberg basher, check out my reviews for A.I. and Minority Report.  I praised both of those films like they were the second coming of Christ (or at least Kubrick).  I love the majority of Spielberg's work, but both this and Hook prove the man is human and can definitely fail.

Catch Me if you Can is nothing more than pleasantly scented drabness.  The acting, especially from Leonardo, is commendable, but there isn't nearly enough character development to care about him, or anyone else in the movie.  The movie seems to repeat itself every ten minutes and should become the new definition of "Monotony."  Toward the end of the film an audience member yelled, "boring" and the entire crowd cheered.  It was the most enthusiastic response given during the course of the film. 

I don't know what the man who brought us thrill-rides like Indiana Jones, or emotional epics like Schindler's List, was thinking.  And if you're bothered by the "false endings" Spielberg has grown so fond of, as of late, you're in for a long evening.  This movie ends about 30 times before it actually comes to an end. 

Steven, get an editor.  You had a great premise with this picture and you let it all go to waste.  You wrecked any chance of suspense or tense moments in the film by showing us, at the beginning, that everything works out just fine for Leonardo's character.  You, the man who wouldn't show us the shark until the end of the film, blows his entire load in the first three minutes.  What has happened to you? 

Give me a good movie or retire, my former-hero.  Enough of this.  You're losing me, Spielberg, and I hope that this was just a brainfart, on your part, and that your next movie will bring you back to the top of the directing heap.  I have to keep rooting for you; it's become force of habit.  I have been doing it for over 25 years, now. 

On a scale of 1-10?

2 (and ONLY for the acting.  And only Leonardo's acting, at that.)

Don't miss the Juicy reviews of Chicago, The Hours, Gangs of New York, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The Pianist, About Schmidt, Talk to Her, Adaptation, or Narc!    Be back for Juicy reviews of Daredevil and The Double-D Avenger, coming soon!

MOVIE POSTERS

Chinatown

Adaptation

Annie Hall

Trainspotting - Choose Life

ON SALE NOW!

Click a poster above for more info.!

Agree? Disagree? Feeling bored and wanna write a letter that you'll probably never get a response to?  Email me at alex@juicycerebellum.com 

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Text (Copyright) 2002 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved].

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