Straight People Can't Help It I'm the Pink Flamingo Hate Free Zone Sculpted by Light The Bush Telegraph
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George W. Bush possibly
letting the "queers" know
just what he thinks of their

Brokeback Mountain
Review written by: Alex Sandell

If my political ranting (which I feel adds to this critique) is too much for you, click here to go straight (no pun intended) to my review of Brokeback Mountain.

A response to the prejudice?

If you look at all the facts, it's hard to argue that In 2000, George W. Bush stole the election.  After messing up the United States of America more than any President in U.S. history, he managed to "win" another election in 2004.  How could he pull this off?  In large part, it was due to Joseph Goebbels Karl Rove putting some bullshit "Defense of Marriage" act on ballots in key battleground states in retarded places like the loony South and hyper-reactive Midwest.  Those homophobes feared that they may turn gay, if they had the chance, and didn't want any "fag" to get themselves all tempted like.  They'd literally rather have young men die in a war for Enron and Halliburton than they would be seduced by the almighty scent of the flowery homosexual anus.

So the Christian hypocrites came out in number to vote against homosexuals having equal rights; much like their parents came out decades earlier to vote against allowing African-Americans from sitting in the front of a bus or drinking out of a water fountain that an Aryan may sit in or sip from.  Did that win our incompetent nincompoop of a President a second term?  It didn't hurt the smug SOB.  But potentially rigged electronic voting machines more than likely finalized his icky victory.  Republicans have played on people's prejudice for decades, and Bush wasn't about to stop before "winning" his second term. 

Racism toward "negroes" is grossly out of style, so where could he go?  Why the homosexuals, of course.  He could attack them.  He could claim they were trying to take away the rights of God-fearing heterosexuals.  Although over 80% of heterosexuals surveyed admit to having had anal sex at least once in their life; Bush, by using blatant bigotry, could stop "moralistic" folk from sticking their privates in the "exit" area of a member of the same sex, all by voting for him. 

Closet gays got paranoid and they came out (no pun intended) and voted against anything and everything that would truly be "fair and balanced."  These people were scared that homosexuals would be able to be married, happy and normal.  If they could be normal, what would be next?  Extra-Terrestrials?  Could E.T. journey back to earth and marry Drew Barrymore?  God forbid, could he come back and enter into a civil union with Elliot? 

This was some scary stuff for the slow of mind to comprehend.  Their collective IQ of 48 went into an inbred tizzy.  These people went out and voted hard. So George W. Bush is now our President, once again.  No, not legally, but he's there, and he's spying on our phone calls.  He's allegedly allowing his fellow Americans to be tortured.  The bastard's doing a hell of a lot, and he's doing it under the name of Jesus Christ (his favorite philosopher). 

If anyone -- and I do mean anyone -- is rolling in his proverbial grave over Bush's behavior, it is Christ our Savior.  The very man that asked us all to turn the other cheek, and to forgive.  But Bush doesn't care what Christ taught.  Bush cares about winning.  Bush cares about making his daddy proud.  Bush wants to know just what it feels like to be a Dictator.

After watching Brokeback Mountain, I wonder if director Ang Lee wanted to give Bush the finger in the same way Georgie did to America in the picture at the top of this review.  Even if it is in a "subliminable" fashion.

The permanent damage of homophobia

The message I got out of of this film was that homosexuals being forced into the closet damages not only them, but nearly everyone they grow intimate with.  Had Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) been allowed to have a normal, loving relationship, everyone would have been better off.  Not just Jack and Ennis, but the women Jack and Ennis ended up marrying, in a failed attempt to live a "normal" life.  Not just Jack and Ennis, but the children they ended up having, in a failed attempt to live a "normal" life.  Not to mention Jack and Ennis's parents, their friends and themselves.  All in the name of "normalcy."

But blatant, sickening, rotten homophobia kept them in the closet.  What began as a private relationship on Brokeback Mountain turned into a clandestine romance between two men who had every right to display the love they felt for one another as any man and woman did (and still does).  Keeping it hidden kept them at arm's length from everything else that surrounded them.  It tortured their female lovers as much as it did themselves.  All because they were too scared to admit they were in love.  Too many horror stories.  Too many tales of terror.  Ennis saw an openly gay man dragged along by his pecker until it ripped clear off.  After seeing that, how would you dare come out in the open?  Especially in the South, where "faggot" is the new "nigger?" 

Maybe I'm being too hard on the South.  The North isn't much better -- only slightly more polite in their prejudice.  "Civil Unions?"  What an insult!  Why not simply tell gays to sit in the back of the bus?  As long as they can ride along in the same vehicle as the straights in the front, they have equal rights, do they not?  Many politicians are too homophobic to care that gays are born that way (some still deny it -- sort of like they deny global warming).  Other politicians are too scared of not getting reelected to admit it.  I'd like to think that Brokeback Mountain would be a message to all of them. 

Quit endorsing fudge-packing!  How's the movie?

Brokeback Mountain is a beautifully filmed and superbly acted picture.  It's a romance for the ages and it's ready, willing and able to break your heart.  It's hard for me to believe people are ignorant enough to believe that homosexuality is a "sin."  Those same people have premarital sex.  Nowhere in the bible does it say that rubbing your unmarried prick against some lovely lady's unmarried clit is any less of an offense in the eyes of God.  I guess that's where the whole "first stone" bit comes into play, eh?

Love is love, and Brokeback Mountain is a love story.  It's a film about two people who find salvation in one another.  It's a movie about two people who discover that love knows no boundaries.  Love doesn't discriminate.  Love knows no gender.  Love is real on Brokeback Mountain, and no amount of hatred can take that away. 

This movie moved me.  This movie did something not many films have in 2005 -- it made me feel.  It made me believe there's still a chance for equality.  There's still redemption.  There's still an apology.  Sometime, somewhere the politicians and the people will look back and say, "Oops, guess we were wrong!" 

Jake Gyllenhaal's character is so full of life, it's hard to resist his charm.  Heath Ledger could be the next Clint Eastwood, if he could get past the fact that he played a gay cowboy (I still think he'll be nominated for a Supporting Actor award).  And all of us -- North, South, East, West -- could learn a thing or two if we finally put away our prejudice and discovered that love, no matter its shape, size, or sex, is a beautiful thing.

The only problem I had with the film was that when it leaves Brokeback Mountain, it loses a good part of its appeal.  The characters go on to live dismal lives in trashy places.  Their wives are miserable -- everyone is actually pretty miserable.  The only time glimmers of happiness shine through the darkness is when the couple meet, a few times a year, on Brokeback Mountain.  And even then, the precious moments are overshadowed by the fact that they are fleeting and have to come to an end, far too soon. 

This was obviously the point of the film.  How can a person truly shine when he has to keep his light stifled in a dingy closet, hidden away from the rest of the world?  Like Romeo and Juliet, Ennis and Jack's love is doomed to fail from the start, due to other people's misunderstandings, confusion and fear.  The movie works as a tragedy, but somehow I wanted the couple to stay together, laughing, playing and herding sheep in the rolling hills of Brokeback Mountain.

Despite the film going in a direction I wasn't entirely happy with; Brokeback Mountain still turned out to be ten times the romance of trite garbage such as My Best Friend's Wedding.  Even if it isn't always sunny and sparkling, it manages to be real.  It's everything a romance should be, if a romance is doomed to fail.  The failure resides in the fact that the relationship in question is between two men, and society isn't ready for that yet.  Maybe folks need to look in the mirror and find out what's wrong with themselves and squash out the place that vomits up such bitter hate.  Prejudice is just so 1950. 


There's nothing this movie critic likes more than discussing movies with fellow film fanatics. He's even getting better at replying. Agree? Disagree? Doesn't matter. Let's talk film!  Email Alex!

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