About a week ago, my life really started sucking. Well, let me rephrase that. About a week ago, my life really started sucking, even more than it did before that. This caused me to throw my hands up in the air, and to just say, "fuck it all." "All" included this very site (sadly, it didn't include any voluptuous blondes, with heaving breasts, a nice, curved ass, sexy giggle, and seductive voice). So, with tears in my eyes (well, not really tears, but I think I coughed, once), I wrote an angry, bitter farewell, and said it was over. Then, letters started pouring in (well, not really "pouring," but I got some damn letters, okay?) and I slowly started changing my mind. Now, even though I'm heartbroken, exhausted, and really don't have much of a reason to go on with this lame excuse for a life (how's that for pathetic?), I decided to continue The Juicy Cerebellum, just for those of you whose lives suck even worse than mine. Since it was these letters, begging me to revive The Juicy Cerebellum, that made me decide to keep going on with it, I decided it would only be fair to print

The letters that brought The Juicy Cerebellum back from the dead!

Dear Webmaster-
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T STOP UPDATING THE SITE DAILY! YOU'RE THE ONLY IDIOT WHO CAN MAKE ME LAUGH WHEN I'M FEELING LIKE CRAP!!! PPPPPPLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEE!!!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME! I LOVE YOU!!! (whoa, didn't I hear that in a movie? Uhh, I love you as a friend) JUST DON'T LEAVE ME!!! OR ALL THE OTHER AWESOME PEOPLE THAT COME (hehehe) TO YOUR WEBSITE AND DON'T RAT YOU OUT FOR "PROFANITY" ETC ETC ETC! PLEASE! YOUR PAGE RULES! YOU RULE! DON'T DIE!!! CONTINUE TO UPDATE DAILY AND FIGHT THE DUMB IDIOTS WHO SAY THAT YOU'RE TOO WEIRD! YOUR FIANCÉE IS TOO LOW FOR YOU! MATT IS A JERK! PLEASE CONTINUE TO UPDATE THIS PAGE DAILY! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE! WITH SUGAR ON TOP! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! UPDATE IT DAILY! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!!! okay. thanx.
-KaTe

You're welcome

Hey-
PLEASE DON'T QUIT MAKING THIS SITE! IT KICKS TOO MUCH LLAMA ARSE TO QUIT! PLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEEE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
-morgan

Wow, saying "please," and using the Caps Lock key must really be in this year.

Dear Webmaster-
Please, please don't tell me you're really giving up on the site, are you? This is the best place I've ever found on the web. I don't know what I'd do if you left. Please, please, please, please don't go!! Yours in fishnets,
-Tink the Crack Fairy ;)

Mmm . . . fiiiiiiiishnets.

Dear Webmaster-
I was kinda confused by the update, also sad for that you are quitting something that is so dear to
my life. When I got to the end I wasn't sure if you were kidding or saying that you are going to continue with it. I think you should keep doing it!!!
-A devoted Juicy Cerebellum reader, and friend, Eric

Well, you don't have to be confused anymore, cuz, like a rotten sequel to Friday the 13th, it's baaaaaaack!!!

Dear Webmaster-
Well, I guess I might as well just discontinue my internet access account. This was basically the only reason I've been logging on lately. Honestly, I think you're letting the 'others' win by giving up. Keep pushing the limit and make the conservatives wince even more. Just add more reason to the sight i.e. some political commentary? religion? etc. Really hit them where it hurts, their small dry brains.
-blue

Hey, GeoCities is ALREADY censoring parts of my page. I would love to write more controversial stuff, but it's against the "rules," and I can't afford one of those friendly servers that let you say anything, unless I start up a Juicy Cerebellum fund (that was a hint).

Dear Webmaster-
I hope you're joking. You can't give up on us now! Your site rocks! People depend on you!!! We want more insanity! PLEASE!
-dsg

If I was any more insane, they'd lock me up, and how the hell would I update my page, then? (Well, I guess good ol' Charlie Manson is making a page, but he's got that "celebrity" thing going for him.)

Hey Alex-
I don't know what pissed you off, but please, PLEASE don't quit doing this site.

I work nights at MCI and get to (have to) surf on-line several hours a night just to stay awake. Yours is one of the first 2 or 3 sites I visit every day!!

How am I going to wake up every day if I know there will be no more chapters to "Dead Dogs Don't Roll Over?" I spent about 8 hours one night reading the entire chapter archive. No shit, I have spent probably 40 hours on your site(s) since I found it about a month ago.

I implore you, as one of your most loyal - if quiet - supporters to not quit. You are extremely witty and fun to read because with your stories you make the rest of us feel human just because we can relate so well to you. Well, except maybe for the seizures and colored poop!

Anyway, I have said my peace. I would really like to continue dropping by your site. I understand it must be somewhat of a pain in the ass after a while to constantly update your pages, but you have taken on a certain responsibility to your loyal followers.

Peace Dude...Hope to see you back in more chipper spirits real soon.
-Mark H. Johnston

What, is your poop translucent?

Dear Webmaster-
That sucks about your site not being there any more, I had a lot of fun reading it. Thanks for the good times and laughs!
-Adam

Just like Dead Dogs Don't Roll Over, Dead Sites Don't Stay Dead - they only hibernate, while their creator has a nervous breakdown.

Alex -
You can't be serious about giving up just because a bunch of fucking hypocritical assholes decided to sell out to corporate America. I am a god damned disillusioned youth of America today that goes to your site once a god damn day and I will not stand for it being taken down. I come to your site for guidance in my every day life. If you call it quits, then just maybe everyone else who you inspire will also. Please don't stop this God. Your site is too fucking important to me to just load it up and dump it.

Possibly the last time you will ever hear it, YOU ARE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Dean Gordon

Eloquently put. Thanks for the cynical, yet ego-boosting words. And, I can't help but ask, how's Flash doing?

There was about 10 or 15 more letters, but I got too tired to cut and paste them. If your letter wasn't posted, it's not cuz I didn't like it, it's just cuz I went in order, and yours probably came after Dean's, which, as you can see, is the last one I put up. Now, where's all those letters of thanks I should be getting, for bringing this site back? Huh??? Huh??? Where are they????
-Alex Sandell

You know the routine, just click it.


Get your own free homepage at: geocities.