Have you ever been inside one of those "haunted house" rides at the fair? The ones where you ride through some guy's truck in a little cart and a plastic spider lights up and a buzzer goes off, hoping to make you jump? That's what sitting through this movie is like. Only, the plastic spider jumps out at you about once every thirty minutes, instead of every three seconds, and you're stuck in the "cart" for nearly three hours.

Oprah Winfrey's dream project is a total nightmare.

At least half of the questions asked in the first half of the film are never answered by the end of the second. Not that you'd care, by that point. After wasting three hours staring at Oprah (the star) making mundane stabs at receiving an Oscar, and Jonathan Demme (the director) going way overboard in trying to grab his, you'll just be happy this pile of shit bombed both at the theater and on video, and no awards were won.

I'd give it 1 Juicy squirt out of a possible 10

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Copyright 2001 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]