George Lucas sent geeks across the galaxy into a frenzied rage when he announced that the official name for Star Wars Episode II was to be Attack of the Clones. "It makes me think of things that are nerdy" said one concerned geek. "I will kill myself and then go on a hunger strike if Lucas refuses to change it" said another. Finally, Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons chimed in by saying, "worst episode ever." I just laughed. Why? Well, on top of the fact that I'm not really into the whole "geek" thing (although I did spend nearly two hours designing the title graphic for this update), I had a studio insider send me a list of the original titles Lucas came up with for the movie, and I realize that, believe it or not, it could have been worse. Being that I like to keep Juicy Cerebellum readers in the know, and I couldn't think of anything else to write about, I decided to post this list on the page, for all of you to read. Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever . . . the alternate names for Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones:
Attack of the Genetically Modified Killer Clone Tomatoes
Killer Clones from Outer Space
King Clone Vs. Godzilla
Clones of Nuke 'em High
Children of the Clone
Tales from the Clone
Basket Clone
Night of the Living Clone
Stephen King's The Dead Clone
The Clones Under the Stairs
Popclone
An American Clone in a Galaxy Far, Far Away
The Twilight Clone
Clones from the Black Lagoon
Wes Craven's New Clone
Silence of the Clones
Sometimes Clones Come Back . . . Again
Sleepaway Clone
My Mom's a Clone
The Clones Have Eyes
Last Clone on the Left
Clones Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
The Clones That Ate Paris
The Clone From 20,000 Fathoms
He Clones You Alone
Don't Answer the Clone!
And that's the list. As you can see, Attack of the Clones was a blessing to all of geekdom, in comparison. Now I must go and sleep with my wife.*
©2001 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. If you clone this without my permission I'll attack you! Graphic done by Alex Sandell. Alex's brother wants to know how he "mixed the images so well."
*No, I'm not really married.