George Lucas sent geeks across the galaxy into a frenzied rage when he announced that the official name for Star Wars Episode II was to be Attack of the Clones.   "It makes me think of things that are nerdy" said one concerned geek.  "I will kill myself and then go on a hunger strike if Lucas refuses to change it" said another.  Finally, Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons chimed in by saying, "worst episode ever."  I just laughed.  Why?  Well, on top of the fact that I'm not really into the whole "geek" thing (although I did spend nearly two hours designing the title graphic for this update), I had a studio insider send me a list of the original titles Lucas came up with for the movie, and I realize that, believe it or not, it could have been worse.  Being that I like to keep Juicy Cerebellum readers in the know, and I couldn't think of anything else to write about, I decided to post this list on the page, for all of you to read.  Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever . . . the alternate names for Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones:

Attack of the Genetically Modified Killer Clone Tomatoes

Killer Clones from Outer Space

King Clone Vs. Godzilla

Clones of Nuke 'em High

Children of the Clone

Tales from the Clone

Basket Clone

Night of the Living Clone

Stephen King's The Dead Clone

The Clones Under the Stairs


An American Clone in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

The Twilight Clone

Clones from the Black Lagoon

Wes Craven's New Clone

Silence of the Clones

Sometimes Clones Come Back . . . Again

Sleepaway Clone

My Mom's a Clone

The Clones Have Eyes

Last Clone on the Left

Clones Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

The Clones That Ate Paris

The Clone From 20,000 Fathoms

He Clones You Alone

Don't Answer the Clone!

And that's the list.  As you can see, Attack of the Clones was a blessing to all of geekdom, in comparison.  Now I must go and sleep with my wife.*

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2001 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved].  If you clone this without my permission I'll attack you!  Graphic done by Alex Sandell.  Alex's brother wants to know how he "mixed the images so well."

*No, I'm not really married.