Christianity Versus Atheism:
If Humanity Could Come Up With Anything More Inane, Maybe It Would Win A Prize
Written By: Alex Sandell

People find the strangest things to argue about, but the one I feel is the most bizarre, pointless and redundant has to be the Atheism versus Christianity debate. Both sides run around like pretentious little brats spouting-out fictionalized-"truths" that they could never possibly know. When I'm asked what my stand on religion is, I either answer by saying A.) "I haven't been dead yet." B.) "Could you just wait here another 150 years? If you're still around, I'll give you my answer," or C.) "Am I standing on religion? Gee, I'm sorry, I'll get off it, right now." What it basically boils down to is, "I dunno." And neither do you. So don't start playing know-it-all with me, Jesus-freak. Quit laughing, "We-all-just-turn-to-dust"-boy, the same goes for you. Thanks.

Mommy, why are these people so much the same?

VS?

Atheists

Claim to know what happens after they die, even though they haven't been dead yet. VS? Claim to know nothing happens after they die, even though they haven't been dead yet.
Can spend hours explaining why they just know there's a God. VS? Can spend hours explaining why they just know there's no God.
Form small to large groups of people that share in their beliefs, to confirm just how right they are. VS? Form small to large groups of people that share in their beliefs, to confirm just how right they are.
Stray from their group throughout life, when they lose their faith VS? Stray from their group throughout life, when they need faith.
Drink the blood of Christ. VS? Just get fucking wasted.
Get in heated debates with atheists. VS? Get in heated debates with Christians.
Go door to door with pamphlets and Bibles. VS? Go door to door with eggs and toilet-paper.
Lose friends over their beliefs. VS? Believe in losing friends.
Think they'll live forever. VS? Think they'll live forever, but not until they hit about 75, and become "Born-Again."
Feel a desperate need to instill their beliefs in others. VS? Feel a desperate need to instill their lack-of-belief in others.
Feel guilty about skipping Church on Sunday to watch the game. VS? Feel guilty about watching the game on Sunday, instead of playing D&D.
Claim you have to take it on "faith." VS? Vaguely remember a song by George Michael called "Faith."
Do perverted things in bed they'd never want you to know about. VS? Do perverted things in bed they'd never want you to know about, unless you were willing to join them.
Say "go to Hell" a lot, thinking you might actually go there. VS? Say "go to Hell" a lot, even though that kinda makes them hypocrites.
Were offended over this update, and have their doubts about visiting this page again. VS? Were offended over this update, because they thought I was one of "them."

1998 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. If you copy this, the wrath of . . . er . . . you'll burn in . . . uh . . . a building will fall on your head!

My GOD (oops) man, head back to the table of brains