Bill Clinton and the Almighty "Is"
Written by: Alex Sandell

"Is" is a word which is or is not cause for impeaching the president. Now if Ken Starr and company would have chosen the word "was" or "which" or even "buzzelbaloo" we wouldn't have this problem and America could focus on issues which are a bit larger than Bill Clinton's dick. Still, they chose "Is," and "Is" is a word which has been misrepresented for years by the legal system and now by Mr. Clinton himself.

In a way, Bill Clinton took advantage of "Is" as he is accused of taking advantage of Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky. Only, he had his pants on. And "Is" is better looking. I'd say Monica would be about a 30 font, whereas "Is" can be eligible at only ten-fonts or less. Paula Jones, let's just say that before her face-lift, her nose alone would be at around 50 fonts. She says Bill wanted a blow, but with that nose, I really don't know how it is she'd reach his quivering pecker without getting a nostril stuck in a belly-button first. It's just simple math, that's all it is. But, that's the thing about "Is," it's versatile. "Is" is the great American excuse. The American catch phrase. The American curse.

Yet, "Is" can set you free. Or not.

In Bill Clinton's case the great "Is" struck back. Now "Is" is being used to propel the Republicans into even greater (and undeserved) power at the expense of the American People (whatever the fuck that shit means). Still, "Is" isn't stupid, and it looks like the Republican strategy may have blown up in the conservative's faces. "Is" is busy playing both sides of the table.

America is sick of "Is." You see, Bill Clinton, he keeps working, but he is distracted and "Is" is the reason. "Is" wants to throw the President out of office. Why is this? It's only because "Is" is a pawn in the game that is being played. The game isn't fair, but "Is" does not have the freedom to stand up and say "'Is' is sick of this! Just let 'Is' be its own 'Is'." "Is" just has to keep being thrown from one party to the next, from lawyer to lawyer, all with an agenda.

Now what is best for this country? It doesn't take a wiz to find out what is. Let the President do his fucking job. If his job includes fucking, then let that be the case. Lying under oath about your private life is an impeachable offense? I'd challenge 99.9% of the people reading this to say they wouldn't do the very same thing if they had to talk about their personal sex life with the entire country. Okay, now you tell me you never would cheat on your partner? Fine. But let me come back by telling you that everyone has skeletons in their closet, and most of us wouldn't want "Is" announcing them to the country. That is a pisser, isn't it?

I think an impeachable offense is the Republicans wasting time on this issue. Spending millions upon millions of dollars in a witch-hunt. Ken Starr, and the self-serving Republican party he self-serves for, is obsessive, and not just with "Is." It's more than just "Is." There is more here at stake.

There "Is" our freedom. There "Is" our economy. There "Is" an entire world out there. There "Is"n't enough time to focus on Mighty Bill's schlong.

Sorry, but that's just the way it "Is."

ęCopyright 1998 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. Is it alright to copy this article without my permission? No it is not.

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