Twelve Very Brady
Motivational Messages

As a public service for all you pusillanimous punks and wacky web-heads, I'm going to be updating this far-out feature on a regular basis on the Juicy Cerebellum page. Whenever I'm feeling blue, even suicidal, a few inspirational words from one of the Bradys always seems to bring me back up. I'm hoping these wonderful words of wisdom will have the same effect on all of you.

One time, after finding out that they weren't making new episodes of Mr. Ed anymore, I had a gun to my head and, just after pulling the trigger, one of Mike Brady's moral boosters emanated from my t. v. speakers. By the power vested in Brady, a miracle was performed and allowed my dead ears to hear Mike Brady declare, "you're quitting, that's not how you cope with problems, stop moping around."

These words caused the bullet to dislodge from my brain, my head-wound to heal immediately and gave me the power to carry on in the land of the living. Plus, I've heard rumors involving an upcoming Mr. Ed movie! Wow!

Note: I heard some guy published a book of Brady quotes. This poor, poor man needs help. Capitalizing on the inner-turmoil of millions by marketing the comforting relief that could only be attained through the power of Brady. The only thing sicker is all those psychiatrists charging a thousand dollars an hour to order lots of Prozac prescriptions and pretend that they care. It's not money that counts in this life, it's the Brady's.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, this month's 12 Brady Motivational Messages!!!!

  1. "He's Better than a doctor. He's Santa Clause!" - Cindy Brady
  2. "Having sisters that don't talk to each other sure is stupid." - Bobby Brady
  3. "If you aren't too careful of what you say, you can sure hurt somebody's feelings." - Greg Brady
  4. "Christmas is the season of miracles, huh!?!" -A confused Mike Brady
  5. "If you're gonna start a new diary, you may as well start a new life to go with it." -Greg Brady, not making a whole lot of sense
  6. "Going down that rabbit hole's so exciting!" -Cindy Brady, obviously having a flashback of some sort
  7. "If one person can say something to make someone feel bad, then maybe another person can say something to make him feel good." Marcia Brady
  8. "Attractive boys usually aren't so nice." -Marcia's friend Kathy who obviously hasn't gotten laid lately
  9. "Let's skip Christmas this year." -A typically disgruntled Jan Brady
  10. "You're quitting, that's not how you cope with problems, stop moping around." -Mike Brady, speaking the words that reincarnated me
  11. "Exact words are pretty hard to live by."-Mike Brady
  12. "Why don't you stop trying to imitate other people and just develop your own personality?" -Mike Brady, questioning the rock-group RANCID

There you have it, the first twelve Brady motivational messages. I hope these succeed in keeping you kicking until I upload the next ones. Through rigorous scientific testing, I've discovered that twelve messages have enough Brady-sustenance to keep you happy for a two-month duration. This should allot enough time for me to upload more before you get too depressed. If I don't upload more messages within two months, I guess you'll just have to kill yourself. Sorry.


Love,

Alex

You can send your Very Brady Comments to: alex@juicycerebellum.com 

Go back to that one page with the juicy cerebellum