The
NRA
and
Bubba Dorkweiner,
in association with,
gun1.jpg (40929 bytes)
Presents:
The TRuBeL Wit SPaM, and WhY AlEX is Sew Stoopid

Won time I wuz on this paige alot and than Alex nevir had mee on this paige alot anymoor.  Now at the insestince of the NBA, hoo is a baskitbaal teem and gun compiny, Alex has been "asked" two have me bak.  Sum of yoo may remambir me frum up dates like my furst up date abowt gun controll.  Other sum of yoo may remambir me frum my fameis up date called how to git wutever womin yoo want, in won ez step.  I half heerd that gun sales neerly qua quid quadroo got biggar sence that up date.  Sum say it wuz cuz of the AOK computir bug problim we were scaird of in the nu mileneeum (if it wuz a problim I dont no why it was cawled "AOK") butt I think it wuz my updait that showwed manee guys that two git a gurl you jist need sum paschience and a big gun.  Yoo mite also remambir me frum the lettir up date Alex let me do.  I wood link to it butt I cant becuz my momma is gonna emale to me from Heavin in a littel bit and I want to be not on making a hompaige.  My mommas emale adris is sexybabe@hotmama.com ind she chargis me $9.95 eviry time she sinds me an emale ind all hur emales say is that she is hornee so I think that there is not no boy sheeps up in heavin.  

Those old up dates r imbareising any way becawse I cood naught spel as good and stil needad sum scooling.  Now that I got my GED frum this won companee woo sed it costed $3,000.00 and sed if I sed there name in publec I wood be killt by thim I can spel much betir.  I was told that if I kept up speling so good I wood be the next Pawl Viksee wutever that meens I do not no.

Tooday I rite to yoo wit a mesige allmost as imporetint as stoping gun contril.  That is the mesige of stoping SPAM.  Most of yoo r not so computir litiret as me so I wil tel yoo that wen I say SPAM I do naught meen the food.  If peopel stoped the food SPAM I wood be hungery becuz that is all I eet unles Im hangeng owt with Charlton Heston who plays fore the NBA.  He feeds me expensiv grits that he cals "cav-ee-ar" and alwees gives me a bibel that he reeds on a tape.  He says it is the Old Testicel and that I shood ignoor the New Testicel becuz it is the "sinnars bibel."  I dont no wut he meens most times.  Most times othir peepel say they dont no wut he meens most times eether, but thay like him cuz he preeches the peesful word of God and has lots of guns.  

The spam I im tawking abowt stoping is the spam that is unso unsole unsolice junk emale.  Alex has bin complayning a lot abowt a groop cawled CRAPS R2D2 that I thinc is a groop that plays at caseenos and likes Star Wars and I think hates spam and freedim of speach.  Alex says that he shood stop bein' "blaklistid" becuz it reminds him of the Paul McCartney uv the 1950s.  I dont no why Alex is mad to be like Paul McCartney uv the 1950s but he says that he did sumthin abowt commies in Hollewood.  

So this groop is owt to tel us what emales is bad and wut emales is good ind Alex has sum problim wit that ind that is why he is sew stoopid. These groop of CRAPS R2D2 peepols are ofereen this servece foor FREE ind you dont even half to ask foor it - thee gist do it foor yoo!  I kant see why Alex wood not like this.  Wen I wuz a kid momma yoost to tel me wut to do ind Alex dident complane.  Momma yoost two evin spank me.  Now in emales from momma in Heavin she asks if I want to git spanked.  

Alex keeps asken' yoo peepol who reed his dum paige to rite to yoor congrismin ind senitirs and atturnee genirils ind stuf two stop this CRAPS groop whoo is onlee tryeeng to help us!  The groop evin says thee is tryen to proteKKKt us.  Sum times thay evin brake the law ind hirt inocint peepol to stop the bad peepol.  I thinc this is soopir brave and thaat this groop of peepols shood be admyerd.  

Thay is like that won time when my daddy wuz drunk and axeidentilly shot his rifel at inocint peopel walkeen on the rode by are howse becuz he thowt thee were trespasseen.  Won persin wuz parilized and foor peopel dyed but daddee did it two protict me ind mommee.  "Sumtimes yoo half too throw the babee owt wit the bathwatir" daddee sed befoor he beet mommy wit a wip ind got sent two jail.  Daddee sed he beet mommee wit a wip fur her own safetee.  I thinc CRAPS is alought like my daddee wen he was drunc and pretecteen us for r own good by shooteen those inocint peepols ind wen he beet mommee cuz she needid sumwon two teech hir a "lessin."  Fur that reesin I thinc CRAPS is a good thing that we shood all thinc is good.  

I half two go now cuz momma gist wrote and asked if I wood like a "rimjob."  I dident no my momma liked baskitbal!

ęCopyright 2000 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved], because Bubba was too "stoopid" to do it!

go bak too the joocy cerebelim!