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Canines for Dean:
Because Progressives Walk on Four Legs, Too!
I'm a purebred Shar-Pei. I wasn't adopted from an animal shelter, but I was purchased for $300.00 from really poor people that desperately needed the money, so I feel justified being on this page.
The odd thing is, I'm dead. You can read Alex's memorial/tribute to me here. I'm warning you, if you like animals, it will make you cry (possibly to the point of dehydration)! I died before Dean was in the running for President, but I was a progressive throughout life.
Since passing away, I've had ongoing conversations with Jesus Christ. Talk about a progressive! This guy died for his progressive beliefs! The most I ever did was bark at the window when I thought I saw a Republican entering my territory (or anyone looking remotely like George W. Bush).
Over a few glasses of his blood, Christ told me that the direction humans are taking is wrong. He said we're consumed by greed. He noted that almost every law being written is being written to benefit gigantic and immoral corporations.
Why did Congress pass a bill preventing "frivolous" lawsuits against fast-food restaurants (as if McDonald's can't afford to shell out a million, here and there), but didn't, at the same time, pass a LIVING wage for McDonald's overworked, underpaid employees? The Son of God repeated this rhetorical question at least 1,000 times (you sometimes run out of original things to say, when you have all of eternity to say original things in).
Jesus was baffled. He asked God for the answer, but God is as ambiguous as John Kerry. These fast-food joints are putting so much pressure on kids, who don't know any better, and adults, who can't help but give in to their kids, to buy "Big Kids" meals full of fried food and french fries, just so they can get a Little Mermaid toy, that Jesus has reserved a special place in Hell for all of them.
Although Christ remains a Kucinich supporter, he admits that he did see the value and electability factor held by Governor Dean. He does say he's "disgusted" with Dean's timing in taking pictures where he was essentially "humping" Senator Kerry. Call him traditional, but Jesus considers lying a sin, and he thinks that misrepresentation is the same thing as lying.
God's only son was willing to forgive Howard for claiming that he would NOT drop out after Wisconsin, but he felt the pain of all the people working for Delegates for Dean who were screwed over when Dean essentially handed the delegates his supporters worked so hard to give him over to Kerry (who has never worked for anything in his life, outside of maybe medals in Vietnam).
"This guy Dean was always just in it for what could benefit him," Jesus said. "He never cared about taking the country back. He just had good speech writers and nifty Charlie Chaplin movies such as The Great Dictator to rip-off." Maybe Jesus is just being bitter. Somehow, with all his infinite wisdom, I have my doubts. I finally asked God, and all he would say was, "Dean's turned out to be a real ass."
I guess that about sums it up. The Almighty has spoken. But I still believe in Dean's troops. His warriors. The Deaniacs. I believe that THEY care. And it's time to give a voice to those who have none.
The Juicy Cerebellum receives a 20% commission on any of the posters, quality art prints, and/or refrigerator magnets. ALL profits will go to animal shelters. Won't you lend a hand? I hope so, because Jesus has been looking over my shoulder as I type this, and he said that there are still plenty more "special places" in Hell for people who don't do what they can for a cause they believe in.
Canines for Change!
More Progressive Pets:
Porthos for Change
Brady for Change
Back to Canines for Change main page!
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Support Canines for Dean! Buy a poster, print or magnet. ALL profits will go to animal shelters! Save a lonely animal from an untimely death -- buy a poster, magnet or calendar (there's tons of stuff for sale)!