Dogs Don't Roll Over
Written by: Alex Sandell
My working friend, Dave Broom passes me on his way down to break. "Where are you at?" "Im directly across from you," Dave responds with the deep, seductive voice that makes even the nicest of girls want to fuck his brains out. For the third time today, I catch my lips forming a genuine grin. I've already surveyed my half of the casino, Sue has got to be on the other side. "So," I ask, starting off the question I really wanted to ask from the start "is Sue over there?" "No," Dave responds, "I dont think she came in today."
"Seriously," I say in my kind of high-pitched, squeaky voice that makes even the horniest of girls want to run and hide, "you havent seen Sue around?" Dave shakes his head in amazement at my puppy-dog crush and goes on to tell me, once again, that Sue isn't working today. "But I saw her downstairs," I respond, not even trying to hide the fear in my voice. "Well," Dave begins, "you must be having hallucinations then, cuz I just talked to Mark, and he told me that Sue called in sick." My heart sinks, once again, as Dave struts away.
This is all getting to be too much, I have to find out what's going on. Am I really going crazy? Did Bonnie just give birth, or just get pregnant? Was that guy in the locker room bag really a homosexual demon? Who's watching me from the shadows? Why is there eyeballs inside of the hidden cameras? Where's my dead dog when I need him? Of all the days I should have called in sick . . .
I decide to commit a "Broken Arrow" cardinal sin and leave my change area. As I begin walking away from Nickel Hell, I bump into Richard, who just has an uncanny knack for continually popping up just when you wish he would disappear. After violently exhaling and acting like my bumping into him was the end of the world; Richard tells me that Paul Connor wants to see me back at the office.
I say "okay" and let Richard lead me, like the lowly lifeform that I have become, back to the slot office. "By the way," Richard asks in his trademark, nefarious tone that, at best, might scare a girl into sleeping with him, "what are you doing?" "I'm going to the office," I respond in my typical sheepish manner, while staring down at my feet. Richard grunts dramatically a few times before responding to me, "I mean what were you doing leaving your area?" My brain tries to reel in a decent excuse, but I only end up answering with a, "I don't know." Richard shakes his head as he pulls out his pocket notebook. "'I don't know' just isn't good enough. I'll have to take off a point for that one, Wayne." As he comments, yet another line is scratched across his notebook, under my name.
Although I've gone about a million points past being fired by this point, I can't help but smile the entire way to the office. The "Briar Patch Reverse Psychology Trick" worked after-all. Finally, I've gotten one up on Richard.
I turn the corner and enter the office. When I see whos waiting there for me, I realize my smiles were extremely premature, and my victory very short-lived.
Go to: Chapter 31
©1997 Alex Sandell but, if you're a book publisher and, you wanna get this puppy out, please get in touch with me, hand me a nice, big contract and, of course, a 12 pack of Grape Soda and maybe we can do lunch.
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