Dogs Don't Roll Over
Written by: Alex Sandell
Okay, I'm Feeling Really Mortal, Now
Richard walks off after making his threat. I notice theres a little less purpose in his walk. I wonder if Im starting to weaken him. Well, Lisa tells me the upper-nuts are scared of me. Why? Ive been in a fistfight once in my life, and it was in fourth-grade . . . with a girl. The only exercise I get is writing hate mail to various networks, when they remove my favorite shows. And, I like to consider myself a "pacifist;" although, this belief probably has something to do with my lack of muscles. So, why in the hell would anyone be scared of me? Especially a bunch of weirdoes with supernatural powers?
I cup my palm over my mouth, and place my fingers on my nose. Nope, its not my breath. So, what is it? I look around the casino. I wonder if Lisa actually saw something all those times that her head circled the place. What if she was tricking me? What if shes still working for "Broken Arrow," as a ghost? Lord knows Ive been fooled by the fairer sex plenty of times before. Its amazing how some women can hide such a hard heart, under such a soft body. Could Lisa be one of them?
Oh, come on, now - Im getting paranoid. Shes fucking dead. She doesnt even have a heart. "Your dead Dalmatian has a heart." Great, now my own mind is turning against me. Stupid, stupid gray matter. I may as well have a bowl of oatmeal crammed up there. Jeez, my brain annoys me sometimes.
What about my dead dog? Could he be behind all of this? He is the first dead thing that appeared to me (unless you count that time a 700-year-old Alice Cooper sang, "Im Eighteen," on Jay Leno). Where is that dog, anyway? Probably corroborating evidence against me.
What about Elvis? That dork was sposed to have died back in the age of bellbottoms and sparkles. Is he really alive? If so, why would he be such a bad guy? Well, he did start performing country; I guess that pretty much answers that question.
And Paul, has he turned evil? Has he always been evil? What about Nazi-man? Where did he run off? How about the incredible human peanut? I havent seen her since I punched in. The Crusher? The bobbing headed rooster human? Wouldnt I have at least seen one of them in the last couple hours? I start feeling my chest clenching up. Am I having a heart attack? I start having more and more troubles breathing. Whats happening to me? I couldnt be dying, could I? I start feeling faint. Sharp pains shoot up my arm. I see two Emergency Medical Technicians running toward me. Why are they so tall? Did I fall over? I am dying . . .
Go to: Chapter 48
©1997 Alex Sandell but, if you're a book publisher and, you wanna get this puppy out, please get in touch with me, hand me a nice, big contract and, of course, a 12 pack of Grape Soda and maybe we can do lunch.
You know the routine, just click it.
Get your own free homepage at: geocities