VS

YOKO

COURTNEY

Yoko Ono and Courtney Love. Two women both accused by many of using their rockstar husbands to achieve success. Yoko was married to John Lennon until he was shot in 1980. Courtney was married to Kurt Cobain until he shot himself in 1994.

Both had a musical career during their marriages which has continued after their infamous loved ones passed on. Both of them screech into the mic, rather than sing. Both of them are really sorta gross, and nobody knows how they ever got such a famous lay.

With so many similarities, it would be hard to imagine any differences, but they are there, and The Juicy Cerebellum has found them. Here they are, revealed for the first time, for your reading pleasure.

Yoko Ono:

May have actually loved her husband.

Courtney Love:

May have actually killed hers.

Yoko Ono:

Is thought to be the downfall of The Beatles.

Courtney Love:

Is thought to be the downfall of humanity.

Courtney Love:

Went and got a facelift to help her Hollywood career.

Yoko Ono:

Was told there is no hope.

Courtney Love:

Went from being a grunge star to a complete and total sellout.

Yoko Ono:

Went from being a hippie to . . . well . . . an elderly hippie.

Yoko Ono:

Had a few kids who now perform with her and try to live off of their father's musical success.

Courtney Love:

Had a kid who she's probably only seen once during a photoshoot for Rolling Stone.

Yoko Ono:

Says she has no hard feelings toward the other three Beatles, but hasn't been embraced by the three of them.

Courtney Love:

Says she can't really remember Nirvana, and wonders if they were some sort of band.

1998 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. If you copy this, I'll force you to listen to a computer enhanced duet between Courtney and Yoko. Featuring Jon Lovitz on background vocals.

Back to the table of brains 1998

Back to the mind-map.