I was up late last night, thinking, "why does everybody else get to be a cool cult leader, and not me?" After pondering this for a few hours, the Lord was kind of enough to answer. He said, "go for it." And so it was done.
Why do I want to be a cult leader, you ask? Before killing themselves in some mass-suicide, religious fanatics get all the chicks. Since all the women that are members of their cult believe they are God, or a messenger of God, they can have any woman they want. "Hey, baby - I'm God, you wouldn't reject me, would you?" I mean, how could you turn that down? But, at the same time, I will not take advantage of my power as a psychotic nut controlling the minds of a bunch of morons. I will be fair in my judgements, and just with those that I judge.
What will I call my cult? I thought "Gilligan's Gate" had a nice ring to it (plus, it was easier than making a logo of my own). Would you like to follow me? I'm taking applications right now. Qualifications? All you really need is to be, A.) Naive B.) Easily brainwashed C.) Willing to relocate and kill yourself at my whim.
So, read the information below, and if you find that I'm the right fanatical-nut for you, apply today! How do you apply? Simply send me an email!
bookmarks related to my nutty cult
lAlex's intro: My purpose -- sit
right back and you'll hear a tale
Overview of my present mission
Last chance to become idiotic
How and when GILLIGAN'S ISLAND may be entered
How a member of GILLIGAN'S ISLAND might appear
What the GILLIGAN'S ISLAND theme song really means
All written material ©1997 God (or Alex Sandell, which is the name my mortal shell was given) [All Rights Reserved]. Copying this, without permission from God would be grounds for eternal damnation.
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