Fantasy Man Is A Failure
A "written-in-less-than-5-minutes" Rant By: Alex Sandell
Before saying anything else, I'll admit the man behind CyberErotica, paid me (outside of the last two or three weeks, which I'm still waiting for) the pitiful sum of .07 cents for every person that clicked on his little porno banner I had on my site. As most of you know, I worked hard trying to get people to click it, so I could buy a domain name for The Juicy Cerebellum with the proceeds (hehe, I'm after "proceeds." I'm like Princess Diana now, except not a female, and not a princess, I guess I'm not dead, either . . . well, you get the point). I ended up making a whopping total of like $35.00 dollars.
Anyway, I put up a new plea to have people click it, because Mr. Dickhead "I'm better than everyone else, cuz I have a porn site" Man, raised the payout to an astounding (if you're reading this Mr. Dickhead "I'm not so smart, but I make more money than you" Man, that was meant as sarcasm) .15 cents per click, because "CyberErotica will always pay the most, and on time, like clockwork (if you have an irregular clock)."
Right after putting up this plea, I got some message saying that "Fantasy Man" (that's what the weasly little twit calls himself) discovered I "may" have the wrong *gasp* text under my banner. I had something like "cheap scanned images here," when he really wanted it to say something else along the lines of, "pay $17.99 a MONTH to view copyrighted material." Mr. Fantasy Man Dickhead Dork With No Brain gave me a "new" code to try. How odd this didn't come up until the .15 cents a minute "raise" I received.
Sadly, I was going out of town about a minute after getting the message, and didn't have time to change the code, as Moron Man requested. Now, after being gone three days, I come down to see how much cash I raked in, and it says "wrong information." Did Fantasy Freak have any problem with my site continuing to link to his? Nope. Did Egotist Head Man send me ANY OTHER emails telling me I was to be cut off? Nope. So, in other words, I ADVERTISED THE LAMEST PORNSITE ON THE WEB FOR FREE!
Have I consulted this self-inflated excuse for a "fantasy?" Nope. Last time I consulted him, asking why my site hasn't listed my payouts for the past 3 days, he proceeded to yell and scream at me (over the phone) about how CyberErotica is "the biggest site on the web," and how I "must not know what" I'm "doing." After talking-down to me like some hostile, wanna-be God, the day-old-douche-bag put me on hold for half an hour, while he conversed with his banker.
Needless to say, NO MORE "CyberErotica" banners on this page. EVER. And please try to boycott the place, if you get around to it, cuz it really is only a jumbled up waste of space on the 'net.
Oh yeah, a copy of this rant will be forwarded to Fantasy Man, himself.
You know the routine, just click it.