So, this is what it's like in the daylight?
Written by: Alex Sandell

There's a new house being built in the woods next door to where I live. Technically, I should say there's some old woods being torn down, to accommodate the new house. From what I hear, the house is going to be huge. With all the trees they're cutting down, it definitely has the space to be.

The people who are having this house built are setting it up as their "retirement" home. It's their third house. They are keeping the other two, even after the this one's completed. I put the definition of the word "excess" in their second home's mailbox a couple weeks ago, thinking they must not have a dictionary.

A few days after that, I asked them why they're building a third house, when they already have two others. "We just want a 'retirement' home," I was told, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. They never really said why. I'm assuming it's just because they "want" one. I always thought that's what nursing homes were for. I'm guessing they're chopping down the Amazon Rainforest, at this very moment, just in case . . .

What does this have to do with my first experience with "daylight," you ask? I'm a nocturnal creature. I sleep during the day. I don't believe in sunlight. It's bad for the digestive tract. So is being around large groups of other people. I've found that the later it gets, the less of my fellow humans are wandering around, waiting to annoy me.

I went to bed this morning at my normal hour. Timing perfectly, as always, my "bedtime" with everyone else's "awakening." I always love dozing off just as most of humanity are being pulled from their slumber by the smell of "Folgers", or whatever the fuck wakes people up at ungodly hours such as 6:00 AM.

At 8:15 AM, I was ripped from my pleasant dreams, by a loud beeping noise. I looked outside, and there was a huge tree-knocking-down thing (if I had gotten more sleep, I'd remember what it's called) destroying the last little bit of wilderness in this area.

There's plenty of houses and apartments available, and we're cutting down the last bit of nature we have. More of our oxygen supply depleted. Innocent animals without a home. All so nasty, evil, greedy animals can have a third.

I looked to those woods as sort of a sanctuary. I would go sit in a tree, late at night, and just dream of being something that I'm not. Now I watch my dreams being knocked down, not only metaphorically, but literally, by a bunch of people who wreck the environment for a living, and kinda smell bad.

Not to mention - I'm up during the day! I'm up because bourgeoisie old farts got sick of working for their money, and decided to wreck forests for fun, instead. I'm up because of some STUPID FUCKING "must have loud beeps, so as not to back into people with no common sense" LAW. Now, here I sit, writing an update on 1.5 hours sleep (does it show?), AND I KEEP HEARING THAT INCESSANT NOISE. beep beEP BEEP! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

I think we should do away with that stupid "have beep, will travel" law, and replace it with one where it's mandatory to back over one worker, for every tree that's cut down. Dead bodies and trees strewn throughout what once was nature. I'd cry for the trees. Who cares about some guy working to destroy the environment? I'd cheer as I watch him get smashed between the treads of the tree-knocking-down thing.

Then, when there's no one left to run the tree-knocking-down thing, and the rich have to settle for what they already have, maybe I could get a good night's sleep. Maybe I'd even take out a sleeping bag, and take a nap in the WOODS. You know . . . those things where the trees used to be?

1998 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved] And yes, this WAS the first update ever written on The Juicy Cerebellum, during the day.

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