Fuck Columbia House . . .
It's "The Juicy Cerebellum good deed of the month, club!"

As many of you don't know, one of my many numerous ways of keeping myself alive is by selling Compact Discs, Records and (once in a while) Cassettes. I don't make much money off of it, so of course I came up with this idea to help me make even less!!!

Don't you ever wonder why you talk about how much the world sucks, but do so little to change it? Even a little money sent off to help AIDS and cancer victims, the homeless, midgets, the environment we all do such a good job in fucking up, would help. But, damnit, there's that new CD you just have to own.

Well, "The Juicy Cerebellum," in conjunction with "Scratch/Radical mail-order," while receiving absolutely no support whatsoever from "Columbia House" has just answered your prayers! Every month, at this very site, I am going to be selling one of my favorite CDs. A lot of these CDs, you probably won't have even heard of. But most of them, you'll probably love (unless you're some mindless, trend-hopping, "Spice Girls" worshipping moron). And for everyone of them you buy, all profits will be donated to a worthy cause (the cause will change each month, along with the selected CD).

That's right, you can save the fucking whales by buying a CD! My prices are very low, (usually less than $13.00 per CD), and now anything I make off of the damn things is gonna be sent off to Bosnia, or something.

Enough with this intro., and onto the first CD.

Mr. T Experience

"Revenge is sweet, and so are you"

The Mr. T Experience, one of my favorites since way back in 1989. Continually putting out record after record (this is their tenth), video after video, and never really going anywhere. Their lyrics usually deal with getting dumped, getting picked on, having a big, dorky crush, or . . . getting dumped (did I say that already?), all in a humorous, yet depressing-as-hell, bittersweet, "laugh your ass off, and feel like shit at the same time" sort of way.

Musically, they're kinda punk rock meets pop. Along the lines of "Green Day," only ten times better, and a "never-was" band of upcomers, instead of a "has-been" group of ex-trendy losers. The songs are catchy as hell, and you'll be singing the choruses after one listen (guaranteed).

"Revenge is sweet, and so are you" is their newest release (1997), and most popular yet (meaning they could probably sell out a convenience store, by this point). It features 16 songs, with titles like, "The Weather Is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful," "She's Coming (Over Tonight)," "Love is Dead," "Who Needs Happiness (I'd Rather Have You)" and 12 others.

The best part about it is, for every CD you buy, you'll be DONATING money to "Food Not Bombs." "Food Not Bombs," is a group of people that basically just help other people, when they need help (too bad they couldn't have helped that sentence). Maybe someone in need of a meal, or someone needing somewhere to sleep on a stormy night. Even a kid that just got in a big fight with mom and dad, and was kicked out of the house, is welcome. Plus, they have a cool name.

So, what are you waiting for (with the exception of me to shut the fuck up)? Send a check, money order (both made out to "Alex Sandell"), or even well-concealed cash in the amount of $12.00 (this price INCLUDES shipping charges, within the US, email me if you live outside the USA) for the CD, or $10.00 for the record to:

"The Juicy Cerebellum Good Deed of the Month Club"
C/O Alex Sandell
7200 - 43rd Ave. N. # 3
New Hope, MN 55428

I'll be accepting orders on this CD, and donating profits to "Food Not Bombs" throughout February 28th, 1998, so don't sit around and put it off 'til the last minute. Save that for homework. On March 1st, I'll switch CDs, and charities to donate to, and we'll do it all over again. Plus, you'll discover a cool new band every month. Sound fun? Hey, if we're not gonna save the world by buying ourselves presents, who the fuck is?
-Alex Sandell

1998 Alex Sandell.

back to the table of brains