I betcha I'm gonna get a lotta hatemail cuz of this

Republicans	Democrats
Only support welfare in situations where the person asking for it is a multi-billionaire and wants some tax-dollars sent his way so he can put all the local businessmen out of work by adding another "Wal-Mart" to their town.	Support social programs which help get unemployed businessmen back on their feet.
Criticize Democrats for wanting to provide health and dental insurance to those who need it.	Have a lot of cavities.
Support the "right" for each citizen to carry concealed handguns, claiming it protects the hunters.	Wonder what people are "hunting" in the inner-city.
Are in favor of the death penalty, even in the case of minors.	Are wondering where all the minors on death row got their concealed handguns in the first place.
Do not believe in a woman's right to choose.	Choose to let women have their rights.
Fight for tobacco companies while talking about how Bill Clinton getting a blowjob is bad for the health of the country.	Are too busy trying to get the Republicans to help out in giving health care to the thousands of uninsured people dying of emphysema and lung-cancer to ponder over Bill Clinton's sex life.
Get lots of votes in the deep, conservative South.	Get the majority of their votes from more civilized parts of country.
Do nothing to help the environment but swear they are going to get "tough on crime" so the average citizen doesn't have to worry about his or her well-being.	Worries about the average citizen's well-being.
Should be avoided when you vote today.	Need your vote today, so the other party can be avoided.