Republican VERSUS Democrat
Written by: Alex Sandell
|Only support welfare in situations where the person asking for it is a multi-billionaire and wants some tax-dollars sent his way so he can put all the local businessmen out of work by adding another "Wal-Mart" to their town.||Support social programs which help get unemployed businessmen back on their feet.|
|Criticize Democrats for wanting to provide health and dental insurance to those who need it.||Have a lot of cavities.|
|Support the "right" for each citizen to carry concealed handguns, claiming it protects the hunters.||Wonder what people are "hunting" in the inner-city.|
|Are in favor of the death penalty, even in the case of minors.||Are wondering where all the minors on death row got their concealed handguns in the first place.|
|Do not believe in a woman's right to choose.||Choose to let women have their rights.|
|Fight for tobacco companies while talking about how Bill Clinton getting a blowjob is bad for the health of the country.||Are too busy trying to get the Republicans to help out in giving health care to the thousands of uninsured people dying of emphysema and lung-cancer to ponder over Bill Clinton's sex life.|
|Get lots of votes in the deep, conservative South.||Get the majority of their votes from more civilized parts of country.|
|Do nothing to help the environment but swear they are going to get "tough on crime" so the average citizen doesn't have to worry about his or her well-being.||Worries about the average citizen's well-being.|
|Should be avoided when you vote today.||Need your vote today, so the other party can be avoided.|
ęCopyright 1998 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. Some may say this update is a tad partisan. I prefer to think of it as common sense.
Back to the table of brains 1998
Back to the mind-map.