Top Ten Reasons Why It Sucks to Be Really Big and Fat
Another Shameless Letterman Rip-Off By Mona Frase

10) Always last one picked for potato sack racing team.

9) "Jaws of Life" required to bust huge ass out of movie theater

8) Frequently banned from all-you-can-eat buffets.

7) Three pairs of underwear makes full load of laundry.

6) Richard Simmons constantly shows up to hug you.

5) Wearing Spandex considered misdemeanor crime in most states.

4) Riding lawn mower refuses to budge without nitrous booster.

3) Awkward picking up guys at "Weight Watchers" after humiliating group

2) Ben and Jerry's doesn't give volume discounts.

1) You're always stuck with the slowest golf cart.

You know the routine, just click it.

Not 1997 Alex Sandell, cuz he didn't write it, and, to be honest, that really bothers him.

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