Profound Question/Thought of the Day for the Month of June

Another month down the drain, and my life still hasn't amounted to anything. But, another month means another vast amount of knowledge for each and every one of you, the loyal Juicy Cerebellum reader. Without further, pointless introductions, here's the profound thoughts/questions and wonderments for the month of June! (Well, at least those I remembered to copy down.)

June 2nd, 1997
Big mean jerks would probably be nicer if they were dead.

June 4th, 1997
Spellcheckers recommend the word "Medusa" in place of the abbreviation "meds." I wonder if there's something to that?

June 5th, 1997
If I had a quarter for every time somebody stood me up, I could afford to stand somebody up myself.

June 6th, 1997
I bet the animated movie, All Dogs Go to Heaven wouldn't have been such a big hit with the title, All Abortions Go to Heaven.

June 7th, 1997
One day, the human-race will all go extinct. I think that would be a good day for a picnic.

June 8th, 1997
If you were to have sex with 17 people in less than a month, that would probably make you kind of a slut.

June 9th, 1997
Phone-sex seems like kinda a waste of money.

June 10th, 1997
Heroin probably isn’t the healthiest thing to be doing.

June 11th, 1997
I wonder if guys named "Shannon" commit more criminal acts, than say, some guy named Bill, or Mark.

June 12th, 1997
If someone handed you a glass of pee, and told you it was lemonade, and you drank it and thought it tasted "pretty good," that would probably indicate you have pretty bad taste in beverages.

June 13th, 1997
It seems as though, if every other day of your life totally sucked, Friday the 13th would actually bring you good luck.

June 15th, 1997
Why isn't there ever a "Smart Enough Not to be a Father's Day?"

June 16th, 1997
So, does a malt come out as poop or pee?

June 17th, 1997
After it's made, where does all that love go?

June 18th, 1997
Why the fuck would a woodchuck chuck wood?

June 19th, 1997
With six-billion humans, don't you think you could find one without bad-breath?

June 20th, 1997
With all their amoxicillins, penicillins and tetanus shots, I think they forgot about finding a treatment for the most painful disease of them all, heartbreak.

June 21st, 1997
I think that "The Sound of Music" would have been a bigger hit if the lyrics would of said "the hills are alive, with the smell of semen."

June 23rd, 1997
Anyone who actually thought "Batman and Robin" was a good movie, should probably be shot.

June 25th, 1997
Heartbreak is the toughest prison to break free of.

June 26th, 1997
If you had lots of money, that would mean you're probably rich.

June 30th, 1997
Rubbing certain parts of your body makes weird stuff squirt out.

1997 Alex Sandell [all thoughts reserved]. If you think these thoughts, without written permission from the author, your head will explode the next time you pee.

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