10/24/07 The God Blog: Blogging With the Lord! The Lord Almighty is gonna set a few things straight!
09/22/07 When God Gets Pissed: The Day a Storm Destroyed Everything the Burglars Didn't Take?
09/16/07 Got Rotgut? Click to get it!
06/05/07 Testing Myself! Man, if I weren't so lazy, I think I'd celebrate my trouble-free life by stepping outside and hugging a tree. Instead, I think I'll give my mailman a call and remind him to slide the welfare check under the door next time, so I don't have to put out my joint, pull on my underwear and walk the ten feet to my mailbox to pick it up myself.
06/04/07 Three Decades of Geeking Out!
05/20/07 Jerry Falwell 1933 - 2007! If you don't have anything nice to say ...
02/22/07 Sex! Drugs! Death! The Sandell Show added today!
01/05/07 Totally Juicy Manifesto 2007! An annual tradition. This is my favorite to date, since it made my pet Eskimo giggle!
01/03/07 What's So Wrong With Bush?
12/23/06The Top 20 Games of 2006 20-16! This is funny shit, whether you like games or not!
08/11/06 Video Games are Satan: The Rise and Fall of Joseph Lieberman!
06/27/06 Drunk, Sunk & Munch!
05/03/06 They Shoot Epileptics, Don't They? You wanted an "old-school" update, you got one!
04/25/06 Microsoft is fucked. Today is a "happy thought" update!
02/03/06 The REAL State of the Union Address -- Complete and Uncensored! Click for full story!
12/01/04 Bullshit Bush Economy Hits Poor Hard, Hurts Wal-Mart (every cloud has its silver lining)!
11/29/04 HDTV, marijuana and bargain-basement sex ...
11/25/04 A 36-year-old Minnesotan hunter shot and killed 6 other hunters. Republicans would be proud!
10/09/04 The Secret Debate: Ralph Nader, John Kerry and George W. Bush
8/26/04 Unfit for Command is Unfit for Publication! Click here and find out why! INCLUDES BONUS PARODY COVER!
2/12/04 Progressives for Christ! Over a few glasses of his blood, Jesus told me that the direction humans are taking is wrong. He said we're consumed by greed. He noted that almost every law being written is being written to benefit gigantic and immoral corporations.
2/7/04 Canines for Dean: Because Progressives Walk on Four Legs, Too!
1/26/04 2004 Golden Globes Complete Cleavage Coverage (and other stuff)!
1/21/04 The Sunday School of the Union Address: The Lines You Didn't Get to Hear in the State of the Union Address! Just when you thought I had gone and turned apolitical...
7/18/03 You Know Your Favorite Company Turned Multi-National When ... Super fun and super funny! Bush-bashing, corporate-smashing! Don't miss this update!
7/11/03 Blame God: It's All His Fault!
4/7/03 The Juicy Cerebellum sets its sites on Target Iraq!
3/24/03 The 75th Annual Academy Awards: You can't take it with you, but somebody will auction it off on eBay, after you're gone ...
10/1/02 Twenty Trivial Things I Did in the Month of September! I think this is the kinda stuff they tell me I should keep to myself. Oh well.
9/17/02 Alex makes some dirty jokes while reviewing Super Mario Sunshine!
9/5/02 Treadmills, Tampons And Tea After Sex! This update is a bit dirty. If you're under 18 and read it, it may turn you into a gigantic pervert. I'm warning you!
5/24/02 MEDIA STRATEGY MEMO TO GEORGE, DICK AND JOHN! "The main thing is, stay on message. Change the subject whenever necessary. At this point, do FDR one better: The only thing to fear is not enough fear."
3/1/02 Brain Atrophy! So what's so funny about finding out that your brain is in the process of dying?
1/13/02 Celluloid Sandell Bros.! Meet the freaks I like to call, "family!"
1/2/02 Things to do in 2002: Love, Puppies and Genital Warts! The first update of the year is here!
12/21/01 And the Geeks Shall Inherit the (Middle) Earth - Longtime Cerebellum fans are gonna LOVE this one!
12/8/01 The Truth Behind The Hippocratic Oath! No Doctor will EVER take me again, after this update! Find out the TRUTH regarding my two overdoses in one week! This is the update to read, if you like reading updates that are updates to read!
11/22/01 The Top 11 Things George W. Has To Be Thankful About This Thanksgiving!
11/5/01 Dead Singers, Retarded Queers and a Naked Guy On Flowers: The 26 Juiciest Rock Albums Ever Created! This update is FIVE YEARS in the making, and had me holding my piss for a record amount of time, as I typed it (11+ hours)!
10/19/01 Me, Myself and ILM! An update over two years in the making, finally completed, and online, for your viewing pleasure!
10/12/01 Alex Asks Osama bin Laden About The Brady Bunch (and wonders what a dick's for)!
10/5/01 Slaughtered deer, throbbing boners and a newly pierced ear!
9/27/01 Alex's Super Unprofessional Review and Plot Summary of the Series Premiere of Star Trek Enterprise!
9/25/01 The top ten cool things about the conservatives letting the terrorists win this war!
9/6/01 The Bitch Board! A revolutionary new way to BITCH!
8/27/01 The super funny update that will make you take your clothes off.
8/17/01 Creating a Class War Without Ever Leaving Your Home: Altering America through an armchair revolution!
7/7/01 Small Town Nice: Hang 'em Up! Tie 'em Down! Let 'em Fry!
7/4/01 Fourth of July 2001: Burning the Flag, and other fun stuff!
6/24/01 Totally Juicy Manifesto 2001 (Version 3.0) added today! Having trouble understanding this site? The answers are all here!
6/8/01 PART 2 in Weekend at Buffy's!
6/7/01 Weekend at Buffy's! This is what I WANTED "Muffy the Vampire Layer" to be! What's that? FUNNY!
6/6/01 - Sifting Through the Elephant Shit: What the Republicans REALLY Mean! I've deciphered their language, at last! You will be surprised at what you read!
6/3/01 Muffy the Vampire Layer!
5/30/01 The Truth About Pussies and Bitches!
5/29/01 My update about homo boyscouts! Clicking this will take you no where. This update was up for only 2 minutes, and I decided it was too damn controversial, and took it down. Sorry.
5/14/01 Men are from Mars, Women are ASSHOLES! Links to other "VERSUS" updates included. If you're not a PC freak, you'll like this one!
4/25/01 10 Things I Hate About Jews! I guess you'll just have to read it.
4/2/01 Things so disgusting I can only ask myself . . . What has Unsolicited Commercial Email come to? (You'll want to read this one to the end!)
3/30/01 To my impatient, temperamental fans: A message from Your Savior, Alex Sandell
3/26/01 We're Not Worthy: The 73rd Annual Academy Awards. In-Your-Mother-Fucking-Face coverage! Hollywood will hate me!
3/10/01 Remember Kids...It Could Happen to You!!! I just added chapter 7 (featuring asses). Go to the convenient new chapter archive to check it out!
3/08/01 Remember Kids...It Could Happen to You!!! I just added chapter 6. Go to the convenient new chapter archive to check it out!
3/07/01 Remember Kids...It Could Happen to You!!! I just added chapter 5. Go to the convenient new chapter archive to check it out!
3/05/01 Remember Kids...It Could Happen to You!!! I just added chapter 4. Go to the convenient new chapter archive to check it out!
3/04/01 Remember Kids...It Could Happen to You!!! I just added chapter 3. Go to the convenient new chapter archive to check it out (it's the best one yet)!
3/03/01 Remember Kids...It Could Happen to You!!! Chapter 2 in the chilling ongoing true story of crime and corruption which led to me spending 2 days in the loony bin!
3/02/01 Remember Kids....It Could Happen to You!!! An evil Mayor, abusive cops, insane fat people and a webmaster gone mad! What more could you want?
2/23/01 Helping Bill and Hillary make an ass out of themselves! Somehow, the Clintons have managed to embarrass themselves even more AFTER leaving the White House than they did when they were in it. The Juicy Cerebellum lends a hand!
1/29/01 Killing Contestants: Bettering Survivor 2, one Bite at a Time! If you don't laugh, you must be dead.
1/02/01 I ask. You tell. Don't ask, just read.
12/8/00 What I REALLY want for my birthday is ...
12/4/00 Alex finally comes to terms with the fact that he'll never fuck a Playboy Playmate of the Year and gets really drunk and writes about it
12/2/00 Free Stuff People Send Me To Spray My Juice On # 4: Marylin Manson's shitty new CD"
11/23/00 The Bush Who Stole Office!
11/15/00 How to Pick a Juicy President # 4
11/14/00 How to Pick a Juicy President # 3
11/12/00 How to Pick a Juicy President # 2
11/10/00 How to Pick a Juicy President # 1 Okay, much like anyone else, I predicted that snobby Gore and boring Bush could never get this "President" thing right. In response, The Juicy Cerebellum will spend EVERY DAY, until one of the dorks are elected, telling the two morons how they could settle it.
11/04/00 mY prESidEnTIal edowErsiMinT Bubba is back, and unfortunately he is endorsing a candidate!
10/26/00 My Totally Juicy Classified Ad See how YOU TOO, can do it Juicy! (And learn more about me than you ever probably wanted to know.)
10/22/00 Taking NO Shit: Things You Don't Want to Hear Your Partner Saying, as You Fuck Her in the Ass! This update is all perverted, if perversion means HONESTY.
10/10/00 Juicy gets Juicy VII: When a Pair of Boobs Are All Washed Up!
10/5/00 A Day in the Life of a Rebel Without a Life Part One!
9/11/00 Emmy Gets Juicy: The Juicy Cerebellum takes on the 52nd Annual Emmy Awards
9/1/00 Sexually Enticing Beer Slogans that Didn't Quite Work. Beer companies have tried to convince men that they can meet, seduce, and have sex with the most beautiful women alive, if they just get them a bit "tipsy." You can find out what they NEVER wanted you to know if you click now!
8/28/00 My nu gurlfrend, weerwoofs and massage bords. Good old Bubba Dorkweiner, along with his infamous "Fun With Guns" social program, is back, and more "owtspokan" than "evir!" This time he's got a "nu gurlfrend," a "silvar bullit" and a lot to say about sex, Charlton Heston, Jesus Christ and the 12 Apostles!
8/23/00 A Juicy Town Meeting
8/18/00 Alex Sandell for President Presents: Gore Goes Juicy: The Juicy Cerebellum Takes on Campaign 2000
8/11/00 Things to talk about when there's nothing to say
8/9/00 Juicy gets Juicy V: More Pointless Nudity, a Message From Jesus, and a Couple of Squirt Guns Filled Up With Milk!
8/5/00 SAVING THE CEREBELLUM ONE BOOB AT A TIME!
7/22/00 X-Clusive! Juicy Cerebellum to create prequel to the X-Men, featuring the origins of the first known mutant . . . Jesus Christ!
7/5/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the Jiggly month of June! More profound thoughts than ever before!!!
6/30/00 Double Your Pleasure: My Day With Two Pigs And A Reluctant Turtle. Can reality really be this unreal?
6/23/00 My Secret Love Affair With Britney Spears. I was prepared to deny this story vehemently, but have discovered that Rolling Stone magazine got their grubby hands on it, and are planning to air all my dirty laundry in the issue that hits newsstands in August! So, get the crap here, first!
6/20/00 Juicy Gets Juicy! The Cerebellum Boob-Banner is flying high! Click now for pointless nudity and other fun stuff!
6/17/00 Totally Juicy Manifesto 2000! Don't read ANYTHING on this page, until you've read THIS!
6/13/00 Alex Answers 101 MORE Stupid Questions! A sequel to one of the first updates I did on this page, like 3 years ago. Do you still live up to this insanity?
6/10/00 The Jeffersonian. If this is the future of America, America is fucked without a condom.
6/5/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the Madcap month of May!
6/1/00 Some Chick's Tits. If you're over 21, click now to see what, if the world wasn't so damn scared of nudity, would become one of the main graphics for The Juicy Cerebellum.
5/27/00 Are all Canadians as Hyper-Sensitive as You Are?
5/24/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the Abase month of April! When you run out of "F" words, just make one up!
4/7/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the Machiavellian month of March!
3/7/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the foofifooieeeeeee month of February! When you run out of "F" words, just make one up!
2/26/00 50 Fun Things to Shove Up Your Ass! The "feel good" update of the century! Never be bored, again!!!
2/22/00 I Always Knew He Had a Good Heart Welcome back, Dave!
2/4/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the Jabbering (have I used that already?) month of January! January 2000 was the best ever for profound thoughts, so you should get a kick out of them, if you're still breathing.
2/2/00 Ladies and gentlemen . . . heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Bubba! Bubba Dorkweiner returns and explains "The TRuBeL Wit SPaM, and WhY AlEX is Sew Stoopid!" Don't miss Bubba's "powirful" comeback!
1/25/00 It HAD to be written . . . The Juicy Cerebellum's "Best of" 1999 List! 2000 AD, and I'm still stuck in the damn 1900's. Doh!
1/11/00 You've Got Bought: The day Daffy Duck took over the world!
1/9/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the dainty month of December!
1/8/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the noble month of November!
1/7/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the obdurate month of October!
1/6/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the secular month of September.
1/5/00 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the augmented month of August!
12/30/99 "Broken 2000: 100 Reasons Why We STILL Suck!" It's the last Juicy Cerebellum update of the century, so you had better enjoy it!
12/7/99 "The Eight Days of Chanukah: The Real Story of Chanukah" You're going to be shocked when you find out what Chanukah is REALLY about!
12/3/99 "Who Wants to be JUICY?: Free stuff people send me to spray my Juice on!" New and improved!
11/17/99 Alexandria: The Small-Town That Could (But Didn't Really Want To). If you've ever lived in a small-town, or have even driven through one, this update is for you!
11/11/99 "The Second Coming: Nerds, Platforms and Pac-Man."
11/4/99 "Amish People: Are They Kidding?"
10/27/99 Alex's Angels! There's NO WAY I'm missing out on this online auctioning of eggs! Click now and let my women help you make a baby!
10/5/99 More Fun With Hatemail. It's interactive (kind of).
9/27/99 The Girl Who Came All The Way From California To Move In With Me! This update is soooooooooo honest, soooooooooo forward, and sooooooooo revealing, you're gonna have to be 18 just to read it!
9/21/99 "All I Really Need to Know About Sex I Learned in Kindergarten" Click now to discover what a horny bastard the K-12 system made me!
9/9/99 "It's a Hungry World, After-All: Cannibalism in the late 20th Century" Advance word says that this is the funniest damn update on this page in a long time; see if you agree!
9/7/99 Alex's Illustrious Artistic Debut!
8/30/99 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderment's for the Jabbering Month of July!
8/25/99 "Totally Juicy Manifesto" Look deeper into this page than you ever have before, and you may come out a winner!
8/19/99 "When You're Poor . . ."
8/2/99 "Where Was the Trenchcoat?" Join the crusade, before another middle-aged man goes crazy and shoots up a brokerage firm!
7/1/99 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the jiggy month of June!
6/24/99 Totally Juicy list of all the LOW-FAT food you can enjoy at a Chinese restaurant!
6/21/99 "50 Things You're Not Supposed To Do In The Wake Of The Columbine Tragedy!"
6/10/99 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the almighty month of May
6/1/99 The "STAY-FAT" Plan! Other diets letting you down? Try this one out!
6/1/99 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the Allergen filled month of April!
5/14/99 "The Juice On Lucas: An Interview with George Lucas" Ever wonder what it would be like to hear George Lucas on truth-serum? Find out!
4/28/99 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the militant month of March!
4/20/99 "Boy, That's Convict Pussy You're Playin' With: Life On Death Row"
4/6/99 Totally Juicy Predictions For The Next Millenium. Wanna know the TRUTH about what's going to be happening in the year 2000, and beyond? Check this update out!
3/31/99 The Other Side of Jesus! Come look at the ruckus Fat Christ is raising!
3/29/99 Due to the fact that all of the updates on this page are written by one guy, a lot of you have been wondering what's going to happen when I'm all out of ideas. After debating this issue for a good couple of years, I have finally found the answer. To find out what The Juicy Cerebellum will look like, once I'm completely devoid of any sense of humor, creativity, integrity or basic intelligence, click here!
3/26/99 The FAT-CHRIST update caused a bit of controversy! Find out why in "Bitter Hatred: Christ and his Anorexic Supporters"
3/24/99 Jesus Christ has a problem. Find out what it is in, "A Message From Christ, Our Savior."
3/10/99 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the fantabulous month of February!
3/4/99 Me On Monica (No Pun Intended)
2/17/99 When the news turns Juicy! Making current events fun, again! Featuring nudity!!!
2/12/99 Big Fat Bitch With a Knife And you thought I was strange before the breakdown!
2/9/99 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the Jock's month of January!
1/26/99 My Adventures With A Porn Catalog!
1/20/99 The White Man Writes!
1/14/99 Dissecting a Headbanger
1/4/99 Let Me Think A Minute Here . . .
1/3/99 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the Devilish month of December!
1/1/99 Something For New Years
12/23/98 "15 thoughts thunk by total idiots"
12/14/98 "You know you have a problem with The Juicy Cerebellum when . . ."
12/4/98 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the nitpicking month of November!
11/21/98 Yoko VS Courtney!
11/11/98 Totally Useless Amendments to the Constitution That We Just Can't Live Without!
11/7/98 The first ever debate between Minnesota's own wrestling gubernatorial (2002) candidates, Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Randy "Macho Man" Savage!
11/3/98 Republican VERSUS Democrat
11/2/98 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the obscure month of October! If you read them, you get a gold-star!
10/22/98 Bill Clinton and the Almighty "Is"
10/21/98 Latter-Day Saints Throughout History!
10/5/98 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments of the Day for the Sadistic Month of September!
10/5/98 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments of the Day for the Agnostic Month of August!
9/15/98 How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love the Finger Up My Butt!
8/19/98 The Before and After Update!
8/4/98 If it's not one thing, it's a Latter-Day Saint!
8/1/98 All the profound thoughts, questions, and wonderments for the jocose month of July!
7/29/98 How to improve a skinhead's image in 10 easy steps!
7/24/98 Rich Vs. Poor
7/7/98 Day 3 in my journals of the girl who came all the way from Canada to spend four days in a motel with me!
7/3/98 Day 2.5 in my journals of the girl who came all the way from Canada to spend four days in a motel with me!
6/30/98 You wanna know what really pisses me off?
6/29/98 Day two in my journals of the girl who came all the way from Canada to spend four days in a motel with me!
6/26/98 Day one in my journals of the girl who came all the way from Canada to spend four days in a motel with me!
6/16/98 The Jubilant Cerebellum (take a trip to bizarro world)!
6/13/98 Would you like to eat me?
6/8/98 Sick of the day-to-day grind of funeral life? Ever want more from your funeral? Rejoice! "Alex Sandell's Funeral", has it all!
6/1/98 All the profound thoughts, questions, and wonderments for the melancholy month of May!
5/30/98 What Are You Selling Us, Here??? (How did they ever get that cute dog to talk?)
5/25/98 Super Juicy Topless Girl: The Next Generation!
5/17/98 Fifteen Great Reasons To Visit Texas! You ain't never seen no tourist attractions like these'uns, before! Yeeeeeee-ha!
5/2/98 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments, for the audacious month of April!
4/30/98 Christ on Capital Punishment. The son of God touches base with humanity, and gives us his thoughts on everything from the death penalty, to "Gilligan's Island!"
4/12/98 What would it be like if we all ripped off the Muppets?
4/7/98 Proof, beyond a reasonable doubt, that humanity really is stupid!
4/2/98 All the profound thoughts, questions and wondemerments for the mediocre month of March!
4/1/98 The Juicy Cerebellum . . . Born Again!
3/30/98 Hallmark, in conjunction with The Juicy Cerebellum, presents: the "Coming Out Of The Closet" series!
3/26/98 So, what would happen if the world really did revolve around me?
3/20/98 The other three women, in Bill Clinton's life!
3/19/98 Ace Ventura: Redneck Detective, Barber With Child, and a Convulsing Me!
3/14/98 Celebrate The Juicy Cerebellum's one-year anniversary with The Juicy Cerebellum!
3/13/98 Alex Sandell, in his best "Dr. Seuss" mode, presents: "Hackers Hear a Who."
3/11/98 The 20 Commandments of Chat
3/6/98 This guy named Kenny asked me to host it, and being the kind-hearted man that I am, I couldn't say no, so here it is, "a total loser's homepage!"
3/4/98 Christians Versus Atheists: Mommy, why are these people so much the same?
3/3/98 All the profound thoughts, questions, and wonderments for the semi-fabulous month of February!
2/23/98 "The Great Rotating Debate: Young Versus Old!"
2/21/98 27 ways to tell when you're getting really horny!
2/20/98 More than I ever wanted to know, I learned in Kindergarten.
2/19/98 The final update to the Right-Wing Gazette, A White Republican on death-row!
2/17/98 The Right-Wing wants to remind you "how to warn your children that poor people are 'naughty,' with a smile on your face."
2/16/98 Celebrate Bubba Dorkweiner's first year as an honorary member of the NBA!
2/15/98 "I'm really ugly," declares Bob Dole, in recent statement.
2/14/98 Conservative ignorance flows freely, with large group of morons declaring "execution is all the violence we need."
2/13/98 The nasty Republican agenda starts becoming unraveled in today's edition of The Right-Wing Gazette!
2/1/98 All the profound thoughts/questions/wonderments for the jubilant month of January!
1/28/98 Day five in my journals of the girl who came all the way from Finland to spend New Year's Eve with me!
1/25/98 Day four in my journals of the girl who came all the way from Finland to spend New Year's Eve with me!
1/24/98 Day three in my journals of the girl who came all the way from Finland to spend New Year's Eve with me!
1/17/98 Day two in my journals of the girl who came all the way from Finland to spend New Year's Eve with me!
1/16/98 Day one in my journals of the girl who came all the way from Finland to spend New Year's Eve with me!
1/5/98 The fanatical Charles Lee "Conservative" responds to "mountains" of hatemail!
1/1/98 The Juicy Cerebellum presents a surefire way to avoid hangovers.
12/25/97 Santa Claus found dead in New York apartment!
12/24/97 The Other 12 Steps. What recovering alcoholics didn't want you to know!
12/12/97 20 Questions From A Girl On A Mission (Or why you should never trust a Marine with an inferiority complex)
12/4/97 Stuff the right wing religious groups missed, in their battle against Disney cartoons.
12/1/97 All the profound thoughts, questions, and wonderments for the mediocre month of November!
11/21/97 Conclusive Proof That I Really Am Jesus Christ!
11/15/97 The origin of Super Juicy Topless Girl!
11/14/97 All the profound thoughts, wonderments and questions for the month of October!!!
UPDATED 11/7/97 If you've EVER been told to "act your age," you're gonna love the newest thought in The Juicy Cerebellum section of THE JUICY CEREBELLUM!
11/6/97 Total losers, and their thoughts.
11/4/97 The WINNER of the "profound thought of the day" contest!
10/31/97 For billions of years, man has claimed to see ghosts, monsters, aliens (and not just the movie), demons, the Devil, and countless other supernatural phenomena. Through intense research, and a driving will to find out the truth, The Juicy Cerebellum has discovered what it is that man is really seeing!
10/4/97 Really Nutty Stuff My Schizophrenic Friend Said, When She Was Drunk!
10/2/97 Illegal (or at least super annoying to the general population of morons) Stuff That You Can Do, When There's Nothing Good On T.V.!
10/1/97 All the profound thoughts, questions, and wonderments, for the wonderful month of September!
9/23/97 The NRA and Bubba Dorkweiner, in association with, "Bubba's Fun With Guns," presents: "how too git wutever wimin yoo want, in won ez step"
9/20/97 Remember when Madonna posed nude? I do.
9/1/97 All the profound thoughts, wonderments and questions for the month of August!!!
8/28/97 A Juicy conversation with the Lord!
8/14/97 33 things more irritating than world starvation!
UPDATED 8/12/97 Are you feeling unloved? Would you like to give your life purpose? Do you want to be someone important? It sounds like what you need is a religious cult! Why don't you start out with Gilligan's Gate, it may be the only cult you'll ever need!
8/1/97 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the month of July!
7/20/97 All my ex-friends, on a scale of 1-10!
7/18/97 Sick of all the fighting? Still wondering why we can't all "just get along?" You need The Juicy Cerebellum's solution for world peace!
7/14/97 Juicy ratings we'd like to see!
7/10/97 I'm an epileptic, he's an epileptic, she's an epileptic, read the top ten reasons it's cool to be epileptic, and be an epileptic, too!
7/8/97 Ever find yourself wondering what's behind those chipper voices trying to sell you magazine subscriptions, credit card memberships, and whatever else they can think of to market over the phone? Ever wonder what's really going through a person's mind as they cheerily read through their scripts, trying to earn that meager commission? Want the answer? Click now to find out what's really going through a telemarketer's mind.
7/7/97 So, you wanna be a teenage redneck? Click now to learn how!
7/2/97 Something to make everyone think that I'm super nutty!
7/1/97 All the profound thoughts, questions and wonderments for the wonderful month of June!
6/25/97 Humanity has made great progress throughout the years, nearly defeating racism, sexism, homophobia, environmental pollution, stupid morons in gigantic pickup trucks and tobacco chewing dorks in cowboy hats. Yet, there's one area where humanity has yet to come clear on what is right and wrong. We've been thrown by the size of a woman's breasts, or the length of a man's penis. So, after all these years of progress, we're still dumbfounded over that one pertinent question, a question only The Juicy Cerebellum can answer . . . does size really matter?
6/24/97 Alex Answers 101 Totally Stupid Questions! WARNING: A lot of these questions (and the answers to them) are rather, um . . . "forward," so I suggest that you don't eat for at least 12 hours prior to reading them.
6/19/97 Some people may say The Juicy Cerebellum is too "one-sided," so today we're giving somebody else the chance to speak. Read Charles Lee Conservative's article on why censorship is good for America.
6/9/97 Beautiful Vs. Ugly!
6/6/97 Grimace caught having an affair with Little Debbie!
6/4/97 The Profound Thought/Question of the Day for the Month of May.
6/3/97 Is there any forms of intelligent life in the NRA? Probably not, if Bubba's Fun With Guns is any indication!
5/29/97 The Juicy Cerebellum's Guide to Super Sex!
5/28/97 Since human beings have had the ability to communicate verbally, they have also had the ability to lie. So, the human life is basically a balancing act between what is the truth, and what is a lie, with no one ever knowing for sure that what they are being told is sincere. What would you give for a way to know whether someone is telling you the truth, or lying to you? Some people would pay millions to have this ability. Here, at The Juicy Cerebellum, we are telling you how to do it for free. Without further adieu, click now to discover a 95% accurate way of finding out if someone is telling you a lie!
5/22/97 The Juicy Cerebellum Public Service Announcement. The truth isn't pretty, but neither is Shelley Duvall, and that never stopped her, did it?
5/16/97 Do you suck? Find out by reading the list of 101 people that totally suck.
5/13/97 Mayor McCheese caught picking up transsexual prostitute.
5/9/97 The Top 10 Reasons It Sucks to Be Really Big and Fat
5/4/97 ten really crappy glam bands the world could have done without
4/30/97 Mayor McCheese comes out of the closet.
4/28/97 Since the human animal has had the ability to think, it's pondered over what happens after it dies. Throughout time, humans have believed in various Gods, reincarnation, and big fat guys named Buddha. Our disagreements over what happens after passing has caused conflicts, hatred, even wars. Still, no one has KNOWN the truth, until now. After revealing the meaning of life, The Juicy Cerebellum figured that it would be only fair to follow up with what REALLY happens after you die.
4/19/97 Well, boys and girls, your moment in the sun has arrived! It's your chance to see a real, live girl in a bikini! Who says you can't get anything for free???
4/9/97 My fun and fascinating trip to the local ER
4/1/97 The 10 Most Embarrassing Moments in the Life of Alex Sandell section of The Juicy Cerebellum. What are you waiting for??? My misery is BOUND to bring you a laugh!
3/26/97 Bob Dole announced as new Ronald McDonald
3/20/97 Ronald McDonald DEAD
Everyone is always searching for the meaning of life but, no one seems to find it. We pray, we hope, we fall in love, we marry, we divorce, we run around naked in the local mall screaming "I'm naked, I'm naked and . . . I'm in a mall," all in our quest for . . . MEANING. Well, as the ULTIMATE in charity, I, with my infinite knowledge on matters that old guys with big beards are 'sposed to reveal on the top of a mountain, am going to tell ALL readers of the Juicy Cerebellum, who care to know, what the meaning of life is.
12 Very Brady Motivational Messages
FIXED 3/22/97 You shouldn't know very much about the Too Many "Olivers" section of THE JUICY CEREBELLUM before you visit it. It is a top secret part of this webpage, closely monitored by the Federal Bureau of Investigation and a couple of aliens. All I'm allowed to tell you at this point is, if you watch television, this just may be the most important site you've ever visited. As a matter of fact, the TOO MANY OLIVERS area is probably going to change your life. What's an "Oliver," and how will it change your life? You'll just have to click on the brain and find out!
And, I can't forget the credits where credits are due section of the Juicy Cerebellum. Come here and see who contributed to this HTML-related disaster.
And, to find out who created this mess, read about me in the WHO I AM section of the Juicy Cerebellum.
All writing on this page ©1997/1998 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. Using it without permission will give you seven years bad luck AND, a splitting headache.
You can send me and photos of naked people to: firstname.lastname@example.org