Date: Mon., 17 Aug 1998 03:53:51
To: Juicy Cerebellum Readers
Written by: Alex Sandell
From: GeoShitties World Excuse Headquarters
Subject: The GeoShitties World Excuse Report Vol. 2, No. 1

In This Issue:
GEOSHITTIES BREAKS ANOTHER RECORD!
WELL EXCUUUUUSE THE HELL OUT OF US . . .
NEW TOY FOR RETARD
NEW COMMUNITIES FOR YOU TO BREED IN
GEOSHITTIES' CEO ATTEMPTS SUICIDE

GEOSHITTIES BREAKS ANOTHER RECORD!

GeoShitties members had something to cheer about in July when GeoShitties broke its own record and managed to keep its server running 49% of the month! This record beats out the one we set in January by "getting it up" 43% of the time. If this pattern continues, soon your site will be online more than it is off! Imagine how many extra visitors your webpage will get when people can actually see it!!! Send in the love letters, community members, we can hardly wait for them to arrive!

WELL EXCUUUUUSE THE HELL OUT OF US . . .

Must be what our arch-nemesis "GeoCities" is saying right about now. The company was accused by Federal regulators of releasing personal details about its users to advertisers, which violates its own promises, according to the Government..

The FTC said the company had claimed that without permission, it would not release information about a person's education, income, marital status, occupation and personal interests. Sadly, it seems this was not to be the case. Jodie Bernstein, director of the Bureau of Consumer Protection at the FTC said that ''GeoCities misled its customers, both children and adults, by not telling the truth about how it was using their personal information.'

GeoCities agreed, in its recent settlement, to rewrite the privacy statement on its website, explaining how it distributes information. The FTC ordered GeoCities to receive parental permission before gathering any personal data from children 12 and under. The Government claims that the ''GeoKidz Club'' was directed at children, even though the club was organized by others who collected information from the very same children who joined the "club" for other purposes.

Finally, GeoCities has to include a ''clear and prominent'' link to the FTC's website which contains educational materials about privacy. This is an order that GeoCities must follow for at least 5 years.

To sign up for a membership through the GeoCities' service, 2 million people have already given their name, email address, street address, education, personal interests, marital status and occupation. The company swears it will not release personally identifiable data to others. On the other hand, it does not reveal that it gives aggregate information to other advertising companies.

Shame on you, GeoCities. GeoShitties may fuck over anyone it comes in contact with, but at least it admits it. If you're a "community," than I suppose "Walt Disney World" is really the Globe.

NEW TOY FOR RETARD

It's not like we really know what a "retard" is, but I guess one of our clients happens to be one. He wrote to GeoShitties two days ago saying, "my sight apeerd in tha "Texis Triboone" yestirday...I wood like to thanc yoo for teeching this retard neew triks. I find that workeeng on this is like mentil jim-nas-tiks. Soon my IQ may reech 34. My childrin R amaazed. I sinceerilly thanc all of this staf at this place for the phun and tek-nic-cal stuf thay have proovidid four my entirtainmint. I wood also like to thanc thim for riping me off and selin' my personil infourmation to the highest bider." We have had his IP address traced, and surprisingly enough, he is registered under the name of "Bubba Dorkweiner." His site is bubba's fun with guns.

NEW COMMUNITIES FOR YOU TO BREED IN

GeoShitties' Communities have given birth to a sloppy bunch of premature fetuses, as of late! Like proud alcoholic parents, we just have to tell you about them! Here are some of the chips sucked into the old vacuum cleaner: Fucking (Sports and Other STDs), Date Rape (People and Relationships), Screwing Community Members (GeoShitties Business Practice), Bestiality and Golden Showers (More Than Just a Pet). Keep checking here for new additions to the community!

GEOSHITTIES CEO ATTEMPTS SUICIDE

And we're fucking happy. Go back to Disney, you self-inflated jerk!

1998 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved] Using this without permission from the author will make you melt into a pile of filth, and cause you to be investigated by the FTC!

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GeoShitties is damn proud to admit that it has no affiliation with GeoCities.

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