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The God Blog:
Blogging With the Lord
Written by: God Almighty
"Value" Voters -- Quit Using My Godly Ass!
Did any of you catch the ridiculous Family Research Council's "Value" voters summit? It's put together by a bunch of whack jobs who use Me to pass their blasphemous right-wing agenda. All the Republican Presidential Candidates pay lip-service to the Lunatic Fringe by making outrageous claims and pretending to be "Holy" men. Fred Thompson came out and said that he had no idea what he'd do during the first 100 days of his Presidency, but he did know what he would do in the first hour. He said he, "would go into Oval Office and pray for the wisdom to know what's right. In my first hour I would pray for the strength to do what's right." This sent the rabid monkey descendents in the crowd into a frothy frenzy. They stood up and cheered for what seemed like 5 minutes. Many of them had tears in their eyes. None of them seemed to give a a shit that the guy had just said he had "no idea" what he'd do as President -- outside of pray. Well, Fred, I'm listening and I can hear you no matter where you are, so why don't you try praying before getting into the Oval Office. Start by praying that, if elected (Me forbid), you know what the fuck you're going to do as President in the first 100 days. Next, pray like crazy that you never make it into the Oval Office as President.

Posted by God 10/24/07 2:15 AM CST

George W. Bush is Going to Hell
Just a heads up from the Lord.

Posted by God 10/24/07 1:58 AM CST

What if I Was One of Us?
That would blow. You guys suck. I created you in my image or whatever, but man that whole "free will" thing was a bad idea. If I woulda know you would destroy the planet I created for you without a care in the world, I would never have let you evolve past the oozy slime phase of your existence. And forget about the whole "opposable thumbs" deal. Never woulda happened.

Posted by God 10/24/07 1:18 AM CST