59th Annual Golden Globes Update:
Start On A Downer And End On An Up!
Written by:  Alex Sandell

Ironically enough, thanks to all the traveling I had been doing to see one art house film after another before the Golden Globes aired, I had become so exhausted, that I was going to sleep through the awards, tape them, and watch them later.  Then my mom came over at 8:00 PM to wake me up and asked, "why aren't you watching your show?"  I couldn't cut through the haze of sleep to figure out what "show" she was talking about.  Usually it is only middle aged females that have a "show" and it's one damn soap, or another.  Before I could figure out the first line, the second was thrown at me:  "my sister's dead."  I sat up, at this, but was still having trouble registering anything.  "What?"  I asked.  "My sister's dead," my mom repeated.  When my mom said her sister's name it hit me hard, and I was no longer half asleep.  This was an aunt that I had closely identified with for the past few years, and one of the only relatives on my mother's side that I had gotten to know really well.  She was also the mother of the three cousins that were my best friends throughout childhood.  The 59th Annual Golden Globes, which already didn't seem important enough to keep myself awake for in the first place, suddenly seemed even less significant.  My mom had just lost her best friend in the world.  Still, mom wanted to watch it with me, but pretty much cried throughout the entire thing.  I was able to push aside ALL emotion (including elation, or happiness) and just stared at the screen.  It wasn't until 1 this morning that I broke down and started crying.  For the next 5 hours I sat, staring at the TV, not watching a single thing that I was viewing, and shook, and felt injustice, and had the chills, and felt like I was gonna puke, and felt sad for so many people.  

My mom's side of the family didn't have their Christmas celebration until yesterday, the same day my aunt died.  During the Golden Globes, last night, my mom finally opened the presents she had just gotten from her sister.  There were so many neat little things in there.  One of them was a calendar.  My mom had asked for one, and didn't buy one until a couple of days ago, when she gave up hope, and didn't think she'd ever get one as a gift.  When she saw the calendar, she just cried.  It was full of beautiful sites from Arizona, the state my aunt had moved to only months ago, hoping to escape the shit hand she was being dealt here.  How sad to see it now, but how precious it is.  How sad to read my aunt's letter that said that she was feeling, 'better than [she] has in a long time."  This was all too much, for my mom, for me, and for so many more people that weren't watching the award show with us.    

Needless to say, this will NOT be the update it was going to be.  It's not going to be the detailed Awards' update Juicy fans picked as their second favorite updates on this site (right after the online novels).  It's just going to be what it is.  It's 6:38 AM, and I don't even want to write the damn thing.  I hope that, somehow, at least someone out there will enjoy reading it.

Best Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or TV Movie

The nominees were:  John Corbett for Sex and the City, Sean Hayes for Will and Grace, Ron Livingston for Band of Brothers, Stanley Tucci for Conspiracy, and Bradley Whitford for The West Wing.

I thought the winner should be:  Ron Livingston.

The winner was:  Stanley Tucci.

My thoughts on this category:  It pissed me off that Conspiracy, the ONLY show of the five nominated that I didn't see, won the prize.  How the hell am I suppose to know if that Tucci guy deserved it?  I'm happy that the fucking overrated West Wing cast didn't hog the category this year, for once.  I mean, the show is good, but it's not the best thing since sliced bread, or anything. 

Best Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or TV Movie

The nominees were:  Jennifer Aniston for Friends, Tammy Blanchard for Life With Judy Garland:  Me and My Shadows, Rachel Griffiths for Six Feet Under, Allison Janney for The West Wing, and Megan Mullally for Will and Grace.

I thought the winner should be:  Rachel Griffiths.

The winner was:  Rachel Griffiths.

My thoughts on this category:  It was a sadly ironic day to be rooting for Six Feet Under, but it is my favorite show on television, and Griffiths is great on it.  Oh, and at least Jennifer Aniston didn't win.  Are they paid to add a token cast member from Friends, every year? These actors haven't expanded, grown or brought anything new to the show since the second season.    

Best Actor, Miniseries/TV Movie

The nominees were:  Kenneth Branagh for Conspiracy, James Franco for James Dean, Ben Kingsley for Anne Frank, Damian Lewis for Band of Brothers, and Barry Pepper for 61.

I thought the winner should be:  I didn't really fucking care.

The winner was:  James Franco.

My thoughts on this category:  The only two miniseries/TV movies that I watched were Anne Frank, which was great, and Band of Brothers, which was sort of boring. 

Best Actress, Miniseries/TV Movie

The nominees were:  Judy Davis for that Judy Garland thing, Bridget Fonda for No Ordinary Baby, Hannah Taylor Gordon for Anne Frank, Julianna Margulies for The Mists of Avalon, Leelee Sobieski for Uprising and Emma Thompson for Wit.

I thought the winner should be:  Hannah Taylor Gordon.

The winner was:  Judy Davis for that Judy Garland thing.

My thoughts on this category:  I wasn't too bummed.  Hannah Taylor Gordon did incredible, but Judy Davis did damn good, too, at least in the commercials.  Other than Anne Frank, I haven't seen a single one of these miniseries or TV movies.

Best Miniseries/TV Movie

The nominees were:  Anne Frank, Band of Brothers, Conspiracy, Judy Garland, and Wit.

I thought the winner should be:  I could care less.

The winner was:  Band of Brothers.

My thoughts on this category:  Band of Brothers had some good effects and the mainstream critics pretended to like it.  It was too long, too thin on plot and, well, did I mention that it was too long?

Best Actor, Musical/Comedy

The nominees were:  Tom Cavanagh for Ed, Kelsey Grammer for Frasier, Eric McCormack for Will and Grace, Frankie Muniz for Malcom in the Middle, and Charlie Sheen for Spin City.

I thought the winner should be:  Anyone but Charlie Sheen.

The winner was:  Charlie Sheen.

My thoughts on this category:  Charlie Sheen is NOT that good on Spin City.  He got this as a consolation prize for replacing Michael J. Fox, who had also won, and keeping the show on the air.  None of these actors really deserve a prize, but if I had to pick one, it would be Frankie Muniz for Malcom.

Best Actress, Musical/Comedy

The nominees were:  Calista Flockhart for Ally McBeal,  Jane Kaczmarek for Malcom in the Middle, Heather Locklear for Spin City, Debra Messing for Will and Grace, and Sarah Jessica Parker for Sex and the City.

I thought the winner should be:  Jane Kaczmarek.

The winner was:  Sarah Jessica Parker.

My thoughts on this category:  Sarah Jessica Parker does do a good job on Sex and the City -- she actually makes a fairly lousy show watchable -- but she's won one too many times, already.   

Best Series, Musical/Comedy

The nominees were:  Ally McBeal, Frasier, Friends, Sex and the City, and, Will and Grace.

I thought the winner should be:  They all sort of suck.  I suppose, Sex and the City.  

The winner was:  Sex and the City.

My thoughts on this category:  Wow, do we have some shitty sitcoms currently airing.  When even I would have voted for the lackluster Sex and the City, you just know the television sitcom world has turned into a vast wasteland of cutesy crap.  

Best Actor, Drama

GOOD GAWD, CAN WE MOVE ON?  FUCK THIS TELEVISION SHIT!  LET'S GET TO FILM!  Anyway, somebody won this award.  

Best Actress, Drama

GRR . . .

Series, Drama

The nominees were:  24, Alias, C.S.I., Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, and The West Wing.

I thought the winner should be:  Six Feet Under

The winner was:  Six Feet Under.

My thoughts on this category:  We may have some bad sitcoms, but we've got GREAT drama on TV!  I would have been happy with The West Wing, The Sopranos or Six Feet Under winning a trophy.  Six Feet Under was REALLY the show I was crossing my fingers for.  This was the first award given out that actually caused me to emote.  I said, "shit."  Then I said, "I can't believe it."  Then I said, "shit" again.  Even my heartbroken mom cracked a small grin, "so, now are you happy?"  "Yes," I said, a little leery of how to answer the question, based on the subject matter of the show.  My mom said, "good."  We bonded over Six Feet Under.  I LOVE that show!!!

Best Original Song

The nominees were:  A bunch of junk, outside of Moulin Rouge's "Come What May."  

I thought the winner should be:  "Come What May."

The winner was:  Some HORRIBLE Sting song. 

My thoughts on this category:  I hate that egotistical fucking Sting.  I hate every song he's ever sung (with exception to one).  I also hate watching him keep winning crappy awards. 

Best Original Score

The nominees were:  Moulin Rouge, Mulholland Drive, Ali, A Beautiful Mind, The Lord of the Rings:  The Fellowship of the Rings, A.I., The Shipping News, Pearl Harbor.

I thought the winner should be:  Moulin Rouge.

The winner was:  Moulin Rouge.

My thoughts on this category:  This film was PERFECT, as far as music went.  

Best Screenplay

The nominees were:  The Man Who Wasn't There, Gosford Park, A Beautiful Mind, Mulholland Drive, and Memento.

I thought the winner should be:  Memento.

The winner was:  A Beautiful Mind.

My thoughts on this category:  WHAT?!?  Memento was obviously the best screenplay.  A Beautiful Mind has an okay screenplay, but isn't worth an award.  There is no justice.  Oh, wait, Lord of the Rings wasn't even nominated for best screenplay, I guess there is justice, after all!  

Best Director

The nominees were:  Steven Spielberg for A.I., David Lynch for Mulholland Drive, Baz Luhrman for Moulin Rouge, Peter Jackson for The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Ron Howard for A Beautiful Mind, and Robert Altman for Gosford Park,

I thought the winner should be:  Steven Spielberg.

The winner was:  Robert Altman.

My thoughts on this category:  Altman would have been my third choice (after Spielberg and Luhrman), and he did do a damn good job juggling over 20 leading actors, so this was a fairly good pick.  Things aren't looking good for the LOTR geeks with The Fellowship of the Ring.  First, it's not nominated for screenplay, now it loses the director spot.  It better hope like hell for best picture.  Maybe The Golden Globes folks realize what a stinky pile of poo it is.  They obviously nominated it for the LOTR geek ratings the nomination would bring in.    

Best Actor, Musical/Comedy

The nominees were:  Billy Bob Thornton for Bandits,  John Cameron Mitchell for Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Ewan McGregor for Moulin Rouge, Hugh Jackman for Kate and Leopold, and Gene Hackman for The Royal Tennenbaums.

I thought the winner should be:  Ewan McGregor.

The winner was:  Gene Hackman.

My thoughts on this category:  It's 8:01 AM and I'm fucking tired.

Best Actress, Musical/Comedy

The nominees were:  Thora Birch for Ghost World, Cate Blanchett for Bandits, Nicole Kidman for Moulin Rouge, Reese Witherspoon for Legally Blonde and Renee Zellweger for Bridget Jones's Diary.

I thought the winner should be: Nicole Kidman.

The winner was:  Nicole Kidman.

My thoughts on this category:  She literally glowed.  I love this woman's acting.  Every time I see her, I want to hump.

Best Motion Picture, Musical/Comedy

The nominees were:  Bridget Jones's Diary, Gosford Park, Legally Blonde, Moulin Rouge, and Shrek.

I thought the winner should be: Moulin Rouge.

The winner was:  Moulin Rouge.

My thoughts on this category:  You know you've got a BAD year for movies when Legally Blonde is nominated for a "Best Picture" award.  Hell, put American Pie 2 in there.

Best Actor, Drama

The nominees were:  Russell Crowe for A Beautiful Mind, Will Smith for Ali, Kevin Spacey for The Shipping News, Billy Bob Thornton for The Man Who Wasn't There and Denzel Washington for Training Day.

I thought the winner should be: Kevin Spacey.

The winner was:  Russell Crowe.

My thoughts on this category:  My opinion has changed over Spacey's performance since I initially watched it.  The understated performance he gave in The Shipping News was actually fairly intricate, and incredible.  After seeing the film for a second time, I knew that I was mistaken saying that the acting was a "disappointment" in my review of the film.  Russell Crowe did okay, but it sounded like he had about 30 accents throughout A Beautiful Mind.

Best Actress, Drama

The nominees were:  Halle Berry for Monster's Ball, Judi Dench for Iris, Nicole Kidman for The Others, Sissy Spacek for In the Bedroom and Tilda Swinton for The Deep End.

I thought the winner should be: Judi Dench or Halle Berry.  Probably Judi Dench.

The winner was:  Sissy Spacek.

My thoughts on this category:  In the Bedroom is literally one of the worst movies ever made.  Not only isn't Spacek's performance the "marvel" the mainstream critics are pretending it is, it is actually an incredible disaster (or at least fairly mediocre). 

Best Motion Picture, Drama

The nominees were:  A Beautiful Mind, In the Bedroom, The Lord of the Rings:  The Fellowship of the Ring, The Man Who Wasn't There, Mulholland Drive.

I thought the winner should be: I have yet to see The Man Who Wasn't There or Mulholland Drive.  Since I'm a big fan of the Coen brothers, and black and white films, I'm guessing I'd go for The man Who Wasn't There.  Of the three I saw, I'd have to pick, albeit reluctantly, A Beautiful Mind.

The winner was:  A Beautiful Mind.

My thoughts on this category:  And Lord of the Rings loses in EVERY category it was nominated for!  Wow, do I ever feel vindicated.  Unless the Academy drowns it in awards, which is a possibility, this piece of shit will leave the theater with 290-310 million.  That is NOT ENOUGH to guarantee two hit sequels.  HA! 

Be back here tomorrow for The Sandell Bros.' Artsy-Fartsy Academy Candidates update!

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