Grimace Caught Having Affair With Little Debbie
12:22 P.M. April 26th, 2009
McDonald Land, which seems unable to keep itself out of the spotlight for more than a month at a time lately, had yet another controversy when the middle-aged Grimace was caught having an affair with the 12-year-old Little Debbie. Since Ronald McDonald's death in mid-March, McDonald Land has been losing its wholesome image faster than Grimace stole away Debbie's virginity. With Bob Dole taking the place of Ronald McDonald, Mayor McCheese admitting he was a homosexual, and then, two weeks later, getting caught picking up a transsexual McNugget, the restaurant, and its namesake town, has taken quite a few image-tarnishing blows.
Debbie, who made a brief stop in McDonald Land to support her latest novel "Leading By My Pigtails" met up with Grimace at a book signing. Observers told The Juicy Cerebellum that Grimace came on strong with Debbie, right from the start. "It was obvious Grimace had a hankering for her," said Matthew McWorley, an autograph-seeker standing directly behind the purple-pedophile in line.
If reports are accurate, Grimace waited outside of the bookstore for Debbie to emerge. Once he met up with Debbie, he offered her a meal of "Big Macs, with Nutty Bars for desert." The young, impressionable Debbie was said to be seduced by Grimace's offer and proceeded to enter his purple limo and ride back with him to a small motel he had rented for the evening.
When they arrived, Grimace immediately jumped on top of Little Debbie and told her his home life was in "McShambles." Debbie, who had been drinking on the way to the motel, and was obviously intoxicated, submitted to Grimace's whim and had sex with him. The entire affair was caught on videotape with cameras set up in the motel room by the tabloid magazine, McStar.
Grimace, who looked pale and haggard on his way in for questioning, said he hopes to be forgiven for this "foolish act," in light of his best friend, Ronald's death. The Juicy Cerebellum sticks by its belief that Grimace was merely snack hungry, and Little Debbie had a snack for him.
-Juicy Cerebellum Press Syndicate
©2009 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. Why would you wanna copy something like this anyway? Are you a big pervert, or something?
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