More Fun With Hatemail
Written by:  Alex Sandell and some fucking retard

I usually wouldn't dedicate an entire update to ONE email, but this is one email that's just TOO good to pass up.  Some guy, apparently upset over my movie reviews, of all things, sent me a nearly indecipherable, yet hostile, pile of letters that he apparently chalked up as complete sentences and meaningful words.  After laughing so hard that my eyes bled, I decided to share this man's fine intellect *snicker* with you all.  I am also including the response that I sent to him. 

The stupid moron's letter to me:

You fucking motherfucker..

Fuck yuore mother. Fuck youre ace. you cant even make an hompage. who is the loser. who ccant even study for college. Shut up ashole. Just suck youre dick and eat it. It is th eonly thing youre worth for in this world. Stop with making revieuws you lamn stupid hurified testube boy.

It is that you werent in my face. I would have killed you.. Never say it again to me oke you shithouse. you cant be against me..

NOW FUCK OFF AND FUCK YOURE FAMILY IN THEIR ACES!!!!

Terence

My reply to the stupid moron's letter: 

The correct spelling of "Yuore" is "your."  "Youre" is either "your" or "you're"; depending on the meaning, which is made indecipherable throughout all of your idiocy (what the hell is an "ace" and how can I fuck it?).  "Who is the loser." is a QUESTION, therefore you need to use a QUESTION MARK (they look like this "?").  To answer your question; you are, obviously.  Your "who ccant even study for college." sentence has at least three errors.  First, you need to capitalize the word "who" being that it is the first word in your sentence.  Second, "ccant" only has one "c" and needs an apostrophe to indicate that it means "can not."  Third, if you're going to bitch about someone's inability to "study" for college, you should know these things.  The correct spelling of "ashole" is "asshole."  I can't believe you haven't even learned how to spell your own name.  By saying "suck my youre dick and eat it" you are saying "suck you are dick and eat it."  Call me a doubting Thomas, but I don't think that was what you were trying to get at, there.  Also, with the missing apostrophe, it makes it even harder to decipher your moronics.  "It is th eonly thing youre worth for in this world" is so bad, I'm not even going to bother with it.  "Stop with making revieuws you lamn stupid hurified testube boy" is the worst sentence in human history.  You don't need the "with" between "Stop" and "making;" it does the impossible by making you sound less intelligent than you actually are.  "Revieuws" is actually "reviews" and only a complete and utter dildo would include the letter "u" in that word.  By "lamn" I think you meant "lame," which I'm not, so you would have been incorrect, anyway (surprise, surprise).  I have NO IDEA what you're trying to say when you type "hurified," but you should probably submit it to Webster's, if you actually believe it's a word.  They'd probably like to laugh at you.  "Testube" isn't a word, either, and never will be, no matter how stupid you get.  The next sentence, "It is that you werent in my face" makes about as much sense as, "is that Terence is retard complete."  Learn the proper order of things.  Such as, "Alex is a better person than you" or, "you will never be as smart as a mentally handicapped canine."  "I would have killed you" is simply hostile rhetoric, and didn't take much thought.  That's probably why you wrote it.  "Never say it again to me oke you shithouse" is also a question, therefore needing a question mark.  You also spelled "okay" wrong.  Telling me I can't (you forgot the apostrophe again) be against you is a mistake.  I can do anything I damn well please, as long as it doesn't hurt others (I learned that on a motivational tape, once).  Being "against you" wouldn't hurt anyone, because I doubt anyone cares about you.  Knowing vermin like you have access to a keyboard sickens me.  Or, to rephrase my sentence in a way that would make sense to your sorry ass; "vermin access knowing like you access have a to keyboard me sickens."  Lastly, in regards to your "demand"; I DON'T care about you, and never will.  It would be a waste of my time.  I DO thank you for giving me something to write about in my next update, though.  The thing about my family?  They don't have "aces," so I guess it means nothing.

Love,
me
www.juicycerebellum.com
"Where EVERYONE is normal, because NOBODY is sane!"

The little survey I'm giving in regards to the stupid moron:

This survey doesn't actually work because I forgot how to do it.  I still thought it would be fun to scroll through the answers you COULD HAVE submitted, if I wasn't such an HTML dork.

All contents 1999 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved], except for the moron's letter, which isn't worth copyrighting in the first fucking place.

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