Is Your Webpage Juicy?
Written by: Alex Sandell

Since The Juicy Cerebellum went online (well, maybe a couple months later), I've had lots of people writing to ask me if I would put a link to their page, onto mine. I always had to say no, because it would be hard to say "yes" to one person's request on Thursday, and turn down somebody else's Friday. Imagine all the "so, what's wrong with my page, huh?" emails I'd receive.

Then I'd have to respond with some lame excuse like "I really liked it, but it reminded me too much of this pet lizard I had, and I started crying so hard, I couldn't read the address, when I tried to make a link to it." So, The Juicy Cerebellum became a rarity amongst pages on the 'net; one without a "personal favorites" link section.

Yet the letters kept coming, and coming, and coming (and coming, and coming, and coming . . . they just wouldn't stop! It was like "Designing Women." I thought it would go off the air, but it just kept airing . . . and airing . . . and airing.).

"Hi," the generous emails would read, "I put a link to your site on my page. Maybe you'd like to check it out, and if you like it, you could link back to my page." Or I'd get tempting offers such as, "would you link to my page, if I hacked into some porno sites for you?" Finally, there would be the threats, "if you don't link to my site, the fucking dog gets it! Bwah-ha-HA!" (I think that one came from Cybererotica.)

It was amazing how many of these sites reminded me of my . . . um . . . "lizard." Then, while trying to hack into "Big Knockers," one lonely evening, I came up with an idea. A revelation, if you will (you kinda have to "will," to give this story the dramatic impact it needs).

"A lot of the sites that want me to give them a link are great sites!" I screamed to the air, as a picture of Tiffini Topps began downloading. "I wish I could link to them, without making the crappy sites feel bad."

So, by the time Tiffini Topps had downloaded, the "banner contest" was born. A month later, there were banners. Now, ANYONE that has a site they want advertised, can have a link to it, on The Juicy Cerebellum! Even the crappy ones! What's the cost? NOTHING.

All I ask in return is for you to pick one of the banners located below, save it, and upload it to your site. Once on your site, link the banner to, send me an email at, with the address, and WHATEVER page the banner is on, and I will link to it here at The Juicy Cerebellum!

Are you dripping, yet? If so, grab a banner, and throw it on your site! Oh yeah, one little warning: DO NOT LINK ANY BANNERS FROM MY PAGE! You must save it onto your own harddrive, and upload it. Have fun!

Click here to see a list of homepages that have already made their sites Juicy (and are getting a lot more hits), by adding a nifty banner!

Choose from any of the banners below, and get your site WET!:

Banner # 1

Banner # 2

Banner # 3:

Banner # 4:

Banner # 5:

Banner # 6:

Banner # 7:

Banner # 8:

Banner # 9:

Banner # 10:
(This is the grand prize banner, but it would be wrong of me not to note, it takes a LONG time to download, for people using slower modems - 14.4, primarily. You might wanna keep that in mind, before letting your eyes be seduced by all the pretty colors.)

You know the routine, just click it.
Banners and text ęCopyright 1998, Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. Yes, the banners are still copyrighted by me, even if they are on your site. I (Alex Sandell, and The Juicy Cerebellum) reserve the right to refuse any site. Ask for the banner to be removed at any time. Let me watch you pee, when you're really drunk. And/or fart super loud, during dinner.