12/01/04 Bullshit Bush Economy Hits Poor Hard, Hurts Wal-Mart
. Retail giants call it "Black Friday."  It's the day after Thanksgiving and the biggest shopping day of the year.  Only one discount store didn't end up doing too well, this time around. Wal-Mart has cut its November sales forecast, citing low traffic in the last week of the month and disappointing sales on Black Friday.  I guess in the "every cloud has a silver lining" department, it is nice that Wal-Mart was the store hit.

I'm sure you're asking yourself, "how could it be Wal-Mart?"  With the censored music CDs, free of all cuss words, located in close proximity to the bullets and rifles sold at the store (they should run a "suicide sale" for their bankrupt customers), what God-fearing American wouldn't choose to shop at Wal-Mart; the big box universally known for its direct connection to God and diehard devotion to America ... especially to those in China, where over 90% of Wal-Mart merchandise is made?  My God, the store even refused to sell "America: The Book," because Jon Stewart is, as a top Wal-Mart executive succinctly put it, "a big commie fag."

The other stores, not in with the Big Man in Heaven, did excellent business this Black Friday.  From Target to Circuit City to Best Buy -- they were packing them in.  But Wal-Mart was as empty as a funeral home situated in a galaxy of immortals.  The world's top retailer down in the dumps on the biggest shopping day of the year?  What gives?

George W. Bush, that's what.

Wal-Mart stores are primarily located in Rural areas.  Rural areas have lots of poor folk.  Those poor folk can't afford to shop anywhere but Wal-Mart, where they can get televisions and computers made out of aluminum foil and Legos, for the price most stores sell a box of condoms.  Sure, the items are inferior and rarely work better than a toaster oven built out of Lincoln Logs, but at least they're cheap.  Sadly, most of the cheap bastards from Rural areas voted for George W. Bush.  They claim they did so for moral reasons.  How moral is it, you bottom-feeding bastards, to not be able to afford a gift for your kids ... even from Wal-Mart?  Not even one made out of Lincoln Logs and refurbished dildos ("Tickle Me Elmo" takes on a whole new meaning at Wal-Mart)?

Logic would dictate (did you know that George W. Bush's favorite word is "dictate?") that Wal-Mart did rotten business because their customers are farmers, welfare moms and inbreeds.  In other words; Bush's core constituency.  So as not to offend anyone, I do realize that SOME poor people in Rural areas voted Democrat on November 2nd, but not most.  To the exceptions out there, I empathize, sympathize and arobasize.  I do that last thing for me.  The rest I do for you.  Cuz I'm nice.  I'm a nice guy who just happens to want to look good naked.   

In a bit of irony, the first people hit by Bush's tax cuts for the wealthy (and by wealthy I do mean multi-millionaires and billionaires, NOT folks earning $300,000 per year), are the ones that voted for him.  They made between $14,000 and $28,000 dollars every twelve months.  I'd like to say they're simply getting what they deserve, but they probably had an IQ no higher than 38 and they were brainwashed.  They didn't know.  Their pastors, in a gross violation of Separation of Church and State, told them they had to vote for Georgie.  He was moral.  That's right, the drunk driving, cocaine snorting, grandson of a Nazi was "moral."  The pastors and priests knew better, but they wanted the dough that would flow into their coffers under the guise of "faith based initiatives."  So the people too dumb to look out for themselves were fucked by those who should have looked out for them. 

And now they're starting to see that (at least I hope they're getting it, by now).  As gas prices keep rising, they are the ones stuck riding buses or missing work.  As health care costs keep going up, they are the ones stuck on their deathbed, without the ability to pay for decent medical treatment.  And as Christmas approaches, they are the ones who can no longer afford to buy their loved ones Christmas presents at Wal-Mart. 

But don't think it's just the poorest of the poor Bush is sticking it to.  You're far from safe, middle-class man.  Soon you'll see the Best Buy and Target shoppers with wallets too empty to afford to buy gift-wrapping, much less a gift.  That's because this TRICKLE DOWN bullshit, made popular by that cocksucking fuckhead, Ronald Reagan (should he be sainted?  Not quite.  Demonized would be more appropriate.), DOES NOT WORK.  Why?  Nothing trickles down.  Get it?  If you don't, you will shortly.  Did you know they're proposing a FEDERAL sales tax that would add at least 20% to everything you purchase?  That'd put quite a dent in your wallet, wouldn't it?  Even if you ARE middle-class and feel that you're doing well. 

It ain't close to over (it's only just beginning), but when it is, just remember that I told you so.  That is, if you can remember.  With the gross amount of pollutants Bush and the gang are currently allowing into our air and water supplies, your brain may be too drained to remember dick.  Hopefully you won't forget, even in your incapacitated state, the dick you elected to wreck the world.

-Alex Sandell 
(TJC Press) Click to Email


The Devil points proudly as his minion takes over Wal-Mart, changing the name to "Dubya Mart" ("W Mart," for short).  "You did good, my son," Satan tells Bush.  "Heh heh," Bush laughs, "and my name's up on the sign, too!"  Beelzebub and Bush laugh together as the duo take the first major step toward destroying the American economy.

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