50 Reasons You
Don't Have Time To Worry About Being SPAMMED (Pick a REAL Cause,
Written by: Alex Sandell
Global Warming . . . Starving Children . . . Terrorist Retaliation . . . Failing Health Care . . . Overpopulation . . . Greedy Corporations . . .Welfare Reform . . . Depleting Social Security . . . Acid Rain . . . Chemical Pollution . . . Technology So Advanced We Are Inadequately Prepared To Deal With It . . . Little Kids Bringing Guns To School . . . Little Kids Bringing Guns To School And Committing Mass-Murder With Them . . . A New Specie Of Animal Goes Extinct Everyday . . . Policymakers Who Are In Touch With Big Contributors And Movie Stars (Often The Same Thing) But Could Care Less About Scientists And Activists Who Are Trying To Actually Do Something To Help . . . Republican Congress Abolishing Its Office Of Technology Assessment And Trying Desperately To Put Even More Unneeded Money Into The Military . . . Cancer . . . Diabetes . . . Epilepsy . . . Alzheimer's . . . AIDS . . . New Strains Of Bacteria With No Treatment In Sight . . . Rapidly Depleting Natural Resources . . . Lack Of Federal Funding For The Sick And Elderly (At Least We Have A Surplus Of Bombs!) . . . Oil Spills . . . A Public Who Gets Its Opinion From A Few SoundBites . . . The Upper 1% Of The Population In America Owns Nearly All Of Its Wealth . . . Natural Disasters . . . A "World" Where People Sit In A Daze Staring Into A Computer "Chatting" Instead Of Going Outside And Making A Friend . . . Fanatic Groups Of Morons Placing The Blame For Society's Wrongs On Television, Pornography Or Whatever Other Excuse They Can Think Of . . . Censorship . . . Cars Have Been Made That Can Get 100 Miles To The Gallon, And Are Not All That Costly. Still, They Haven't Been Released Because The Oil Companies Don't Want To Take A Cut In Profits . . . Nearly All Of U.S. Electricity Used Daily Could Be Supplied Through Solar Energy, Putting A Virtual Stop To The Use Of Polluting Fossil Fuels, And Saving The Environment In The Process . . . An Acre Of Rainforest Is Being Destroyed Every Second . . . Global Poverty . . . Teen Pregnancy . . . Unwanted Children . . . Lowest Voter Turnout In History Has Occurred Over The Last Ten Years . . . Racism . . . Sexism (Including Reverse-Sexism, You Lame Excuse For a "Feminist") . . . There's More Black People In Prison Than There Are In College . . . Inadequate Public Schools . . . Pro-Life Activists With A Bomb In Their Hand And Loose Screws In Their Head . . . Alcoholics . . . Single Parents Addicted To Drugs . . . Abused Husbands, Wives and Children . . . Climbing Suicide Rates . . . Gangs . . . Cults (excluding Gilligan's Gate, of course) . . . Censorship . . .
. . . Idiots Who Can Look At All Of This And Decide Writing A Letter Of Complaint To An Internet Provider Over Getting A "SPAM" Is More Worthy Of Their Precious Time.
©1998 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved] Use this without permission and I'll SPAM you! Just think, you'll have to use the delete key! Bwah-ha-ha! I bet you that now you're shakin'!!!
Back to the table of brains 1998
Back to the mind-map.