All I Really Need to Know About Sex I Learned in Kindergarten
Written by:  Alex Sandell
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The more apples you give a woman, the easier she gets * The worse you perform; the less likely you are to reach the next level * It isn't size that counts, it's who's on top that really matters * If you do well enough, you'll get a chocolate * At least once a day, women want to lay you down * If you "lay" properly for a woman, she'll give you a prize * Women are eager to teach those who are eager to learn * It isn't looks that count, but the sharpness of your pencil * Once a month it's harder to score * The faster you get through a project, the more disappointed the female will be * You'll never know "how many licks it takes" because she'll always tell you that you need to lick more * The Lunch Lady is never good looking *The cylindrical tube will only fit into a specific hole; not in the square.  Plus, she won't swallow; only spit . . . if you're lucky * Valentine Cards are only important if they come from the right person * Erasers look a lot like the teacher's nipples on those days it gets cold, or her boyfriend comes in * Using your hand can actually be pleasurable, if something rewarding comes out of it * A "pussy" is more than a cat, although you don't really know what it is, or why you find it intriguing * Hard-ons pop up in the most bizarre times, and people notice, no matter what they pretend * A woman will welcome the hard-on if she has enough apples * Apples are good - They get you laid.

Copyright 1999 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved].   Another thing I learned in Kindergarten is that most people are bastard thieves, and that I'm able to call them on it in a court of law. 

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