Overview of my present mission
- Gather up a bunch of people that are looking for a "family," and tell them they can be part of mine.
- Instigate mass-brainwashing.
- Locate a big house to hole-up in, just in case we get into a standoff with the national guard.
- Live in that big house with a large group of people that wear sandals, and are sorta stinky.
- Invite any female members of my cult to become a "vessel of God" by having sex with me. Afterward, make macho comments like, "that's one HOT vessel," making other guys in the group wish they could be God.
- Get word out to the media, because they need something tragic to write about, now that Andrew Cunanan kicked the bucket.
- Acquire lots and lots of money, to buy the cruise ship we all need to jump off of on Momentum of Gilligan day. (If anything's left over, buy neat weapons, and stuff - just in case we get into that standoff I mentioned earlier.)
- Navigate the cruise ship to The Gilligan Triangle, and jump off the ship. Next stop, HEAVEN!
After reviewing this mission statement, I noticed that if you take the first letter, from each of the eight individual statements, it spells out GILLIGAN. What are the odds? Take heed, fellow believer, the Lord has spoken.
All written material ©1997 God (or Alex Sandell, which is the name my mortal shell was given) [All Rights Reserved]. Copying this, without permission from God would be grounds for eternal damnation.