<--------------------WARNING:  This update has no super-duper graphics, and avoids JAVA, FLASH and all other SUPERFICIAL online nifty-lookin' crap like the plague!  If you need good graphics to enthrall you, you are at the wrong page.  If you're semi-literate, and enjoy something other than colorful pictures flashing rapidly (anyone else notice that banner ads are flashing more often, and far faster, than they were one year ago?), in an annoying manner, across your screen, asking you to "punch-the-monkey," you're in the right place.  The Juicy Cerebellum flashes nothing, unless it's a topless woman, ready to reveal those precious breasts hidden under her sweater.  If you'd rather not have pop-up ads for various brands of TAMPONS, you're in the right place.  If you enjoy corporate America, and the way it's quickly sucking the Internet dry, please leave, and visit a snappy, soon-to-be-out-of-business, corporate site, which is fitted for your tampon-lovin' pathetic taste.  We won't miss you, not even slightly.------------------------------------->END WARNING


Brady-Lu shows the world where java loving, flash
abusing webmasters can kiss it when they put LOOKS above 
SUBSTANCE! Of course you can click on Brady's 
picture to read the tribute I wrote for her.

I write a ton of movie reviews.  Still, a lot of you want MORE.  There isn't a day that goes by without someone emailing me asking me why I didn't review this movie, or what I thought of that movie.  Well, I'm now posting every movie that I've viewed over the past five years, and what I thought of them, on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the worst and 10 being the best, for the years of 1996-2001.  To even make it easier for you, I'm posting the YEAR each film was released.  I'm also leaving a place you can email me at the end, and I encourage you to write in, and tell me which films you agree with, disagree with, and wonder about.  Anyway, here is:

Every Juicy Movie Thing That You've Ever Wanted To Know:
Movies I'd Give a 1, 2 or 3
(The worst movies released from 1996 to 2001)
In the opinion of:  Alex Sandell

These movies are SOOOOOOOOOOOO bad, that you should feel ashamed if you even watch one on late-night TV.  No one is going to like these movies.  Not your family, not your friends, not the chick you're trying to bone.  NO ONE.  What's wrong with you, renting crap like this?

NOTE:  There are links to the FULL REVIEW of the film, when available.

The Nutty Professor (1996) 3

The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000) 3

Buddy (1997) 3

Scary Movie 2 (2001) 3

Pollock (2000) 3

Summer of Sam (1999) 3

Bats (1999) 3

Sheís All That (1999) 3

Youíve Got Mail (1998) 3

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997) 3

Urban Legends:  Final Cut (2000) 3

The Horse Whisperer (1998) 3

Mary Reilly (1996) 3

Blues Brothers 2000 (1998) 3

Up Close and Personal (1996) 3

Armageddon (1998) 3

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) 3

The Devilís Own (1997) 3

Twister (1996) 3

Space Jam (1996) 3

Vampires (1998) 3

The Out-of-Towners (1998) 3

Wild Things (1998) 3

Dee Sniderís Strangeland (1998) 3

Independence Day (1996) 3

The Musketeer (2001) 2

Rat Race (2001) 2

Dracula 2000 (2000) 2

SpiceWorld (1998) 2

Urban Legend (1998) 2

Beloved (1998) 2

Remember the Titans (2000) 2

The Preacherís Wife (1996) 2

Ringmaster (1998) 2

Jingle All the Way (1996) 2

Psycho (1998) 1

Mystery Men (1999) 1

Tomb Raider (2001) 1

Fatherís Day (1997) 1

Speed 2:  Cruise Control (1997) 1

One Fine Day (1996) 1

Mr. Magoo (1997) 1

The English Patient (1996) 1

Click here to check out the movies I'd rate a 4 or 5 on a scale of 1 - 10!

Email Alex

©2001 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved].  I've had so many people copy my stuff, without permission, that I've actually gotten a lawyer to work for me free of charge, because he thinks that there's money to be made from copyright violators.  So far, I have disappointed him, and have refused any idea of a lawsuit, but the last guy really pissed me off, so I wouldn't recommend that you be next.