With Kellogg's changing their "Smacks'" cereal mascot's name from the simple, "Dig'em," to the eerily familiar, "Dig'em the Frog," I found myself wondering*;

What would it be like if we all ripped off the Muppets?
Written by: Alex the Broke
(*I also wondered why foreign countries don't get any good cereal.)

The White House:

Clinton the Horny.
Hillary the Powertrip.
Al Gore the Log.
Tipper the Bitch.
Janet the Ugly.
Newt the Scheming.

Beverly Hills 90210:

Brandon the Hairspray.
Donna the Implant.
Dylan the escapee.
Brenda the Has-been.
Steve the One Nobody Likes.
David Thinks That He's Sexy.
Valerie Puffyhead.
Kelly the Anorexic.
Writers That Suck.
Should Go Off the Air.

The Internet:

Microsoft the Monopoly.
Bill Gates the Dweeb.
Netscape the Superior.
Internet Explorer the Slow.
AOL the Pathetic.
Big Knockers the Unhackable.

This Update:

Is horrible.

Well, it had potential. Too bad it SUCKED! Send me back to the table of brains!

All Text 1998 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved] Although I have no idea why. Picture of Kermit the Frog (the original "the Frog," damnit!) is copyright 1998 The Jim Henson Company. I have an earache, and need to shave.