The National Anthem

Fourth of July 2001:
Burning the Flag, and other fun stuff!
Written by: Alex Sandell
(best viewed with the CHILLER font)

The National Anthem Version 2.0
Written by: Alex Sandell

Oh, say can you see,
by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the anti-trust's last gleaming?
Whose broad laws and bright ideas,
through the perilous fight,
O'er the corporations we watched,
were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare,
Bill Gates bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our independence was still there.
O say, why does that star-spangled banner no longer wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
Because the corporations have bought out the country, and it can't be saved.

The Pledge of Allegiance Version 2.0
Written by: Alex Sandell

I pledge Allegiance to the flag
of the United Conglomerates of America
and to the monopolies for which it stands,
one nation under AOL Time-Warner, indivisible,
with Liberty and Justice for all who can afford it.

Guidelines for Burning the Flag
Written by: Alex Sandell

1.  The flag of the United States should be burned daily from sunrise to 
sunset in good weather at all permissible protest spots.

2.  The flag must NEVER be burned as an act of vandalism.  The flag 
must be burned only as an act of protest.  Only a real patriot burns
the flag, and the flag is only burned until America goes back to the
ideals that made it great.  The flag should cease from being burned
when every American has health care, when corporations are no 
longer allowed to own, and control, the news media.  When "the little
guy" the politicians are always talking about actually gets his fair share.
When tax-cuts come SECOND to social problems.  When the death 
penalty is eliminated, and innocent people stop being killed.  When 
the police force stops being racist and brutal.  When the minimum-wage 
becomes a LIVING wage. When people don't  feel compelled to commit 
crimes, because they're given a fair chance. When no child has a right 
to inherit his or her father or mother's millions, and then look down on 
all those "lower-class" people who "never worked for a penny in their 
lives."  When TRUE campaign finance reform is put into law, and every 
American has a voice equally as powerful as every corporate American.  
When politicians stop placing all of society's woes on "violence in the media"
and  actually admit that the real blame lies with the upper 20% stealing
nearly all of the bottom 80%'s money.  When this silly war on drugs ends, 
and we stop filling prisons full of people whose only crime was smoking a joint. 
When the homeless stop being ignored, and start being treated as human beings.  
When our veterans actually get a hand-up from the Government, rather than a slap 
in the face.  When credit card  companies stop calling the man or woman who 
was late on his or her bill a "criminal" when they, the credit card companies, 
put most of their money in illegal Swiss Bank Accounts to avoid paying taxes.  
When there truly are equal rights between the disabled and "abled."  
When women are paid the same amount as men.  When a man has 
the same "reproductive rights" as a woman, and is consulted before 
an abortion occurs.  When 98% of the people on the Internet stop 
exclusively visiting sites controlled by a grand total of FOUR corporations.  
When the environment comes before the oil industry.  When alternative
energy comes before oil.  When we stop being brainwashed by right-wing
zealots into believing that we have a "liberal" media.  When the Government 
starts giving out free needles for drug addicts, to reduce the spread of AIDS.
When condoms can be advertised freely on primetime TV, even if the 
Religious Right shits crucifixes over it.  When we become a country that
honestly does "establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide 
for the common defense, and promote the general Welfare" of ALL
Americans.  

3.  The flag should not be burned on days when the weather is bad, 
especially when it is raining.  The fire will go out.

4.  The flag should always be burned on national and state holidays and 
on those occasions proclaimed by the President.  People are more likely
to take notice on those days.  Remember to duck, rednecks carry guns.

5.  The flag should be burned briskly and disposed of by pissing on it.  It
should never be put out by regular water, unless nobody has to pee.

6. When the flag is burned to ashes, so that it is no longer suitable
for lighting fire to, it should be disposed of in an appropriate manner,
preferably by flushing down the toilet.

7.  All flag burners should remember that, if they are burning the flag
to change this piss-poor country, they are doing a service, and are 
truly patriots.  Don't be discouraged by freaks telling you that you're
not a true American.  The only American not "true" is the one that 
simply turns a blind eye to the shit that's going on, and salutes the
flag no matter what happens.  Nazis did that, once.

Š2001 Alex Sandell [All Rights Resevered].  Copy this, without my permission, and I'll shove a firecracker
up your ass and burn you like the US Flag!

Contact Alex

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