Written by: Alex Sandell

When you're rich . . .
You write off your charity in taxes.

When you're poor . . .
You look toward charity to help pay off your taxes.

When you're rich . . .
You get praise and adoration for finding shrewd new ways to save money.

When you're poor . . .
You go to jail for it.

When you're rich . . .
You get your dog a rabies shot.

When you're poor . . .
You shoot your dog when it gets rabies.

When you're rich . . .
Attending social functions and drinking brandy is how you stay in power.

When you're poor . . .
You actually work for a living.

When you're rich . . .
You take long vacations from your hectic life of drinking brandy and travel to exotic countries.

When you're poor . . .
You catch an exotic disease from some other country and can't even get a sick day.

When you're rich . . .
You complain about how "lazy" all those "poor" people are.

When you're poor . . .
You're too busy working to even complain.

When you're rich . . .
You can rest easy that your children will be financially successful throughout life.

When you're poor . . .
You might be able to get on welfare if you have a seventh child with your wife.

When you're rich . . .
People send you lots of gifts, and kiss your ass.

When you're poor . . .
Collectors take what you have, and kick your ass.

When you're rich . . .
You destroy a bunch of people's lives, and call it "downsizing."

When you're poor . . .
You blow off your employer's head and call it "temporary insanity."

When you're rich . . .
You start up a multi-billion dollar temp. agency and make millions.

When you're poor . . .
You work for a multi-billion dollar temp. agency and make minimum wage.

When you're rich . . .
You watch an episode of "The Simpsons" with your DSS Satellite System, on your 50 inch t.v. screen, in THX Digital Surround Sound, with 5 speakers and a $2,000-dollar subwoofer.

When you're poor . . .
You watch "The Simpsons".

When you're rich . . .
Playing the lottery is pointless.

When you're poor . . .
Playing the lottery is pointless.

1998 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved] Graphic by Amanda T. Why didn't I write anything funny after the copyright?

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