Profound Question/Thought/Wonderment of the Day for the Audacious Month of April

In the morning, I'm in the morning, it's the morning, that I'm in. Who's home? You home? You home, who? This was probably the longest month of my life. Audacious, my ass.

April 1st, 1998
God loves me.

April 2nd, 1998
Only one word comes to mind when I think about the Paula Jones case being dismissed . . . finally!

April 3rd, 1998
I wonder why they don't rent out blowup dolls.

April 4th, 1998
I betcha Jabba the Hutt's nostril would feel kinda like a big, gooey vagina.

April 6th, 1998
I think the most embarrassing way to die, would probably be by breathing in sewer gas . . . intentionally.

April 7th, 1998
Why do novelty shops always sell sex toys, but sex shops don’t sell invisible ink? 

April 8th, 1998
Without an afterlife, life is kind of short and pointless. With an afterlife, it's pretty much the same thing, only longer.

April 12th, 1998
I still think the Easter Bunny's gay!

April 14th, 1998
I wish I was gay, so I could have a bar named after me.

April 17th, 1998
Celebrities never die . . . they just get super-imposed into beer commercials and condom ads.

April 19th, 1998
Frito Lay brand "Wow!" chips are so good; they make you "remember what it was like to be a kid," while at the same time, reminding you what it's like to get really sick, by giving you abdominal cramping, and the shits!

April 20th, 1998
No matter how much perfume you use, a dead person's still gonna stink.

April 23rd, 1998
That would suck to go blind the day before the new Star Wars' movie comes out.

April 25th, 1998
If a dentist gives you laughing gas, and you don't ever laugh, shouldn't you get your money back?

April 26th, 1998
What’s with all these fucking rules, anyway?

April 29th, 1998
This is gonna take some getting used to.

April 30th, 1998
I wish I could get a big plastic bag sewed onto my stomach, so I could hop around, and pretend I was a kangaroo.

Back to the table of brains 1998

Back to the mind-map.

1998 Alex Sandell [all rights reserved]. If you copy this, I'll cut off your fucking head.