Profound Question/Thought/Wonderment of the Day for the Melancholy Month of May

Swollen eyes. Just call Jill. Anybody got any Tylenol?

May 2nd, 1998
I wish I had a vagina, so it could talk to all the other vaginas, across the globe.

May 6th, 1998
I'm like a toilet.  I'm stuck taking everyone's shit, even if I don't want it.

May 7th, 1998
There's a lot of people that should have their "mind's eye" poked out.

May 8th, 1998
I think it would be nice to have a "Mother Fucker's Day." Then we could all get a free treat at Dairy Queen.

May 9th, 1998
Crossing the line is fun.

May 10th, 1998
Texas keeps bitching for "tougher" laws on "immigrants," as it keeps asking to separate from the union, and be its own country. I say we let it, and then put the "tough" immigration laws into effect, and count Texans as immigrants. That would be funny.

May 12th, 1998
It would be nice if everyone that reads this site, could just get together in a big room, and bitch about everyone else.

May 13th, 1998
This isn't really helping my image of Texas.

May 14th, 1998
Short people are just really tall midgets.

May 15th, 1998
Well, my Thursday nights are free.

May 17th, 1998
One day, there will be nothing "profound" left to say. Then I 'spose I'll just make a bunch of stuff up.

May 22nd, 1998
If life really is like a movie, I sure hope it's not "Godzilla".

May 23rd, 1998
I wish someone would come up with a "Day Old Fried Chicken" shop.

May 25th, 1998
Memorial Day would be cooler if the dead people all came back to life, and ate people's brains, and stuff.

May 26th, 1998
Maybe, one day, if I stop being so exhausted, I'll find the energy to sleep.

May 28th, 1998
If I were a movie, my budget would be two-hundred million, and my opening weekend would gross fifty-cents.

May 30th, 1998
Boy, I bet Phil Hartman sure was glad he had a handgun in the house. It's always nice to keep one handy for those times when your wife goes insane, and needs it to shoot you.

May 31st, 1998
If there really is a Hell, I'm guessing "Simon and Garfunkel" would just have to be the soundtrack.

Back to the table of brains 1998

Back to the mind-map.