Profound Question/Thought/Wonderment of the Day for the Nitpicking Month of November
Written by: Alex Sandell

Do uptight people really have tight asses? Wouldn't that make it difficult for a gay man to be dating an uptight gay man? These things get me to thinking.

November 2nd, 1998
If I was you, I'd look better naked.

November 3rd, 1998
Choosing not to vote, and then complaining about the country, is sort of like never using toothpaste, and then bitching about your teeth.

November 6th, 1998
This whole "Jesse is now your Governor" thing is a joke, right?

November 7th, 1998
I can't believe it took Newt this long to realize he was an asshole.

November 9th, 1998
All the best ones are incarcerated.

November 11th, 1998
Bold is beautiful, if you're not super ugly.

November 13th, 1998
If you slept with a country music CD under your pillow every night, I wonder if you'd get stupid?

November 16th, 1998
I think naming your billyclub "Billy", only to call it "Betty-Sue" while gently sliding it into your well-oiled anus, would be sort of moronic.

November 19th, 1998
Staying up 37 hours straight can really make you tired.

November 20th, 1998
If you sort of pee in your pants a little bit, but nobody notices - did you still pee?

November 21st, 1998

November 23rd, 1998
"Erectile dysfunction" is politically correct America's polite way of saying "you won't be using that sucker for much more than pissing, there buddy."

November 24th, 1998
If you had a frog's head sticking out of your nose, I betcha it could pass for a big hunk of snot, at least from a few feet away.

November 25th, 1998
Wherever a person has sat, there has been a butt.

November 26th, 1998
I wonder if it feels good getting stuffing shoved up your ass? I bet it would feel better if you were thawed, first.

November 27th, 1998
American sewers will be filled with digested turkey. FILLED . . . I tell ya!

November 28th, 1998
I think that would be funny if vibrators came with a motion detector which sent off a loud siren while causing an authoritative voice to scream "busted . . . busted . . . busted" when inserted into the proper orifice.

November 30th, 1998
If I was a monkey I'd cover my ass just so when I was horny some stupid Texan couldn't tell.

1998 Alex Sandell/I Wish I Was Gay Inc. [All Rights Reserved].

Back to the table of brains 1998