Profound Question/Thought/Wonderment of the Day for the Devilish Month of December
Written by: Alex Sandell

"The new years thing was kinda lame, did you run out of ideas or something?" - anonymous visitor who obviously just doesn't get it.

December 1st, 1998
If punk was really dead, wouldn't it start smelling?

December 2nd, 1998
When it comes to revenge, nothing works better than a tube of super-glue and your ex's dildo.

December 4th, 1998
If the world consisted of nothing but midgets, Disney's "It's a Small World After-All" would take on a whole new meaning.

December 5th, 1998
Pink poop piles prettily.

December 7th, 1998
Observing nude yoga is like watching a porno in slow motion.

December 9th, 1998
Stepping in cat-puke wouldn't be nearly so bad if it wasn't cat-puke at all, but just a nice bed of pretty tulips.

December 10th, 1998
Stupid dead people are probably just stupid because they have no more brains.

December 11th, 1998
A midget with big tits is like a peanut buster parfait with 99% chocolate and peanuts. It's what you want, but you ain't never gonna get it!

December 12th, 1998
Sexy girls don't carry guns.

December 14th, 1998
Crazy people would be funny if they weren't so damn nuts.

December 17th, 1998
Ugly people aren't heroes, just character actors.

December 19th, 1998
I wonder if "The Burning Bush" was created to make us feel guilty about having pubic hair?

December 21st, 1998
That would be funny if the "Y2K" bug was really the "Y1999" bug and the entire world shut down in less than 10 days.

December 23rd, 1998
Before we terminate Capital Punishment, could we kill Jerry Springer?

December 25th, 1998
If short men were bigger, they would be tall.

December 28th, 1998
If I from China I speak like this.

December 31st, 1998
I’m saving all my best "Y2K" jokes for this time next year.

1998 Alex Sandell [all rights reserved]. Give me a dollar and I'll give you a buck, give me a kiss and I'll give you a fuck.

Back to the table of brains 1998