Profound Question/Thought/Wonderment of the Day for the Jock's Month of January
Written by: Alex Sandell

Due to my nervous-breakdown, there were only 12 profound thoughts in January. That's kind of pathetic. Stupid nervous-breakdowns.

January 3rd, 1999
Would you still love me with hair on my back?

January 4th, 1999
Today Jesse "The Body" Ventura becomes Governor of Minnesota. In other news, Mr. Rogers has announced his candidacy for President with Big Bird as his running-mate.

January 6th, 1999
Listen next time a mute talks to you, he may be trying to tell you something.

January 7th, 1999
If a good looking person kisses somebody gross, is it an act of charity, or mouth to mouth resuscitation?

January 11th, 1999
This afternoon I was washing my hair with L'OREAL and it got me to wondering, "am I really worth it?"

January 13th, 1999
I wonder if Little Miss Muffet was ever embarrassed over her name?

January 14th, 1999
I wish I wouldn't have shot the little birdie before it told me.

January 20th, 1999
Today is 1/20/99.

January 22nd, 1999
It's funny you never see anyone with the last name of "Crapper", these days.

January 26th, 1999
If you find something in "bad taste", go lick the other hole, and shut up, already.

January 28th, 1999
A wet fart fresh out of the shower is probably what started that "wash once and repeat" thing you always hear so much about.

January 29th, 1999
I wonder if "Titanic" would have been such a hit if Jon Lovitz and Roseanne played the romantic leads.

1999 Alex Sandell [all rights reserved]. If you copy this, without my permission, I'll damn you to a life of having to hang out with really pretentious liberal art freak grad. students who think that it's not who they are that matters, but who they know.

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