Profound Question/Thought/Wonderment of the Day for the Fantabulous month of February
Written by: Alex Sandell

Ah, February . . . what a month. The month where The Juicy Cerebellum T-shirt that over five-hundred of you demanded was created. The month where 183 of you reserved it. The month where a whopping 37 of you actually ordered one. I can't wait until the end of March, the month where I claim bankruptcy due to fans of this page claiming that I should make a shirt, because they wanted one so fucking bad, and how "great" a way it would be to make money for the site they read for free every couple of days. February . . . what a month. The month forever remembered as the month I was idiotic enough to believe a bunch of moronic little fucks with a keyboard and plunked down a couple thousand dollars, only to find that, once the shirt was actually made, the slap-happy keyboard-kids decided that, maybe they didn't want one, after-all.

If you actually ordered a shirt, or plan to order a shirt, please disregard the above. Thanks.

February 1st, 1999
By about this time, next year, I should remember to write "1999" on all of my checks.

February 5th, 1999
Never trust a Catholic School teacher who doesn't know what the Vietnam War was.

February 9th, 1999
Being that the sixties were sponsored by AT&T and Sprint, you would have thought there would of been a lot more hippies participating in "phone-ins" while using 1-800-CALL-AT&T to save "a dollar or two".

February 12th, 1999
Okay, now I've gone and lost it.

February 15th, 1999
If my penis was any smaller I'd be better off using my belly-button.

February 17th, 1999
Compare to the active ingredients of Sperm.

February 19th, 1999
My Alpha-Bits could have written a better ER.

February 21st, 1999
That would be cool if there were really big lizards that people could ride to work on and then kill and eat over their lunch-break.

February 22nd, 1999
That would be cool if there were really big lizards that people could ride to work on and then kill and eat over their lunch-break.

February 23rd, 1999
I think I'm gonna go with a fish-net and collect all the interest from those wishing-wells I threw my pennies into.

February 24th, 1999
That would be cool to capture the Y2K bug in a bottle and poke at it with a stick.

February 28th, 1999
If you were to actually "draw a blank", it probably wouldn't look like much.

1999 Alex Sandell [all rights reserved]. If you don't buy a shirt, I'll shove Alpha-Bits up your ass and have you farting the National Anthem within weeks.

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