Profound Question/Thought/Wonderment of the Day for the Jabbering Month of July!
Written by: Alex Sandell

July 1st, 1999
I wonder if Chewbacca had trouble with dingle-berries?

July 2nd, 1999
While the House and Senate are writing all these idiotic new "finger-pointing" laws, I think they should point a finger at God, for all these NON-STOP thunderstorms that force me to "race the lightning" with each update and unplug everything shortly after. I bet the power's been out 10% of the last month.  Damnit! (Yes, this "profound thought" did suck.  I had to let it out.  Sorry.)

July 7th, 1999
A breast can never be too big!

July 8th, 1999
I wish I could just pee in my pants.  That would make it all so much easier.

July 9th, 1999
I'd like to buy the world a Coke and then shake it all up and piss everyone off.

July 16th, 1999
Fat guys in playgrounds jiggle a lot.

July 17th, 1999
I think I'd rather be a poor tall guy than a rich midget.

July 18th, 1999
If my dick were a firecracker, would you let it explode in your butt?

July 19th, 1999
Women are shit.

July 21st, 1999
JFK Jr. dying wasn't appropriate, in the "wake of the Columbine tragedy."

July 23rd, 1999
If Bill Gates threw his Credit Card into one of those "make-a-wish" quarter jars that you find at restaurants, I'm guessing every sick kid in the world would be better by the end of the month.  Instead, we'll get Windows 2000.

July 26th, 1999
That would be funny if we actually started handing out a turd for all those things we actually do give a shit about.

July 27th, 1999
I wonder what Snoopy was thinking when he saw all those kids lighting Woodstock on fire?

July 28th, 1999
Four speakers bouncing around inside of a truck.

July 30th, 1999
So, are they gonna start making laws banning 44 year olds from buying stocks, now?

1999 Alex Sandell [all rights reserved].  You don't even wanna know what would happen if you copied it.

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