Profound Question/Thought/Wonderment of the Day for the foofifooieeeeeee month of February!

February 2nd, 2000
Seeing George W. Bush sledding was funny, because the snow looked like cocaine and he looked like a super big dork.

February 4th, 2000
Look to the eighties and realize the truth . . . hairspray has just got to be the worst invention ever created.

February 5th, 2000
I wonder if parents ever realize that when they give their child the gift of Mr. Potato Head they're giving their kid head?

February 8th, 2000
If you had a wedding anniversary every day of the year, that would probably mean that you live in Utah.

February 11th, 2000
My pet tarantula, who I named after my ex, Isabelle, died yesterday at the tender age of one.  It's odd that her death put tears in my eyes, while that of her namesake's would most likely leave me feeling nothing.  Who would have ever thought that a spider could have more heart than a human-being?

February 16th, 2000
This year the Oscar Statues should be cast with their heads up their asses, for the sake of realism
.

February 21st, 2000
All I ever really wanted was for the good guys to win. 

February 22nd, 2000
Sometimes it's funny when you see a squirrel, and it's been smashed by a car, and a dog is eating it while taking a crap.

February 23rd, 2000
Little teeny weenie people have tiny little boobies.

February 26th, 2000
I wonder if, when people use the expression, "talk to the hand" as an insult, the Muppets take offense.

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2000 Alex Sandell [all rights reserved]. If you copy this without my permission, I'll stop making these stupid little copyright notices and your life will lose all sense of purpose.

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