Profound Question/Thought/Wonderment of the Day for the Machiavellian Month of March!

March 2nd, 2000
The only antidote to a shitty life is death.  What a pisser.

March 7th, 2000
Melons are called melons because they're shaped sort of like tits.

March 9th, 2000
One time I was looking at a girl that was naked and I came.

March 15th, 2000
Being naked doesn't make you free.  Using Pert Plus does.

March 16th, 2000
It's funny when someone asks, "what are you holding?" and you're holding something in your hands, but you're also holding your pee.

March 17th, 2000
If these words aren't moving . . . you need a new computer.  Or, I guess you could just drink a whole bunch of booze and stare at the screen until you puke.

March 18th, 2000
I think guys might get girls drunk so they can play with their boobies.

March 19th, 2000
Life is basically a bad weather forecast.

March 22nd, 2000
One time my grandma told me Silverfish sometimes came out of the bathtub drain,  I thought Silverfish were Crayfish, so I plugged up the drain to stop them from attacking me and then let the water run to fill the bathtub and I forgot it was running and the bathtub overflowed and I got spanked. That story makes me kind of horny.

March 25th, 2000
I dunno, maybe I'm just being a spoilsport, here, but could you take your scalpel out of my body, now?

March 30th, 2000
I think they should just change the name "Bran" to "Poop-Inducer," and be done with it.

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2000 Alex Sandell [all rights reserved]. If you copy this without my permission, I'll make sure to provide the antidote to your shitty life.

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