Question/Thought/Wonderment of the Day for the Madcap Month
Written by: Alex Sandell
Sometimes, if you don't update for a long time, you probably haven't done many updates.
One time a stripper with hairy tits came up to me and I put a GILLETTE in her bikini, instead of a dollar.
I'm a gigantic freak.
So, if the NRA did a "march" for their cause, would it be the "Million Moron March?"
I wish I had a bigger bladder, so I wouldn't have to pee so much when I got drunk.
Greg Brady has an Oedipus complex.
The living dead would be more lively if they were living.
27th, 2000 # 1
Sometimes I wish that I was younger so I could fuck teenagers again.
27th, 2000 # 2
"Buffy" withdrawal sucks. I hate summer.
27th, 2000 # 3
I'm replete with vitriol.
28th, 2000 # 1
Some people have all the nerve . . . (they usually ejaculate prematurely).
28th, 2000 # 2
If God was such a good inventor, why didn't he make our poop smell better?
28th, 2000 # 3
Constellations just don't look as good in the day.
28th, 2000 # 4
If people only had one eye, glasses would be half price.
29th, 2000 # 1
Memorial Day must suck for people with Alzheimer's.
29th, 2000 # 2
That would be funny if they had little E.T. anal thermometers in doctor's offices, and, right when E.T. sticks it in, he would say, "I'll be riiiiiight here."
29th, 2000 # 3
I think we should have a "Forgetrial Day" where we try and forget all the lying alcoholics we've ever known, and the damage they've done to us.
30th, 2000 # 1
Considering the age of the average contestant, I think a "Strip Scrabble" tournament would probably be pretty gross.
30th, 2000 # 2
Humans are gross when they turn into aliens and eat people.
31st, 2000 # 1
If people had gills, I bet you there'd be other people with a gill fetish.
31st, 2000 # 2
If a woman is offended by the word "bitch," I think men have an obligation to use an alternative, such as "cunt" or "whore." Itís only polite.
©2000 Alex Sandell [all rights reserved]. You may not copy this without my permission. Copying this without my express permission will damn you to a life of Strip Scrabble and Bingo orgies with the elderly.
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