Profound Question/Thought of the Day for the Month of October

Another month over.  Lots of thoughts.  Read them, you'll get smart.  Blah, blah, blah. 

October 1st, 1997
I wonder if Winnie the Pooh is partially retarded. 

October 2nd, 1997
I betcha good looking people wouldn't be quite as good looking, if their skin was ripped off, and maple syrup and cat hair was smeared all over their face.

October 3rd, 1997
Why is it that, no matter how many times you flush, that one little piece of poop comes flying back into the toilet?

October 4th, 1997
Have you hugged a schizophrenic, today?

October 5th, 1997
Technical difficulties suck.

October 6th, 1997
No matter where you go, someone is always there, taking a shit.

October 10th, 1997
I hear the naked midgets, this time of year, look nice.

October 13th, 1997
Bastards are people, too.

October 14th, 1997
It would be funny if someone started laughing extremely hard during dinner, and they began choking, and then everyone else started laughing, as the choking person died.

October 15th, 1997
Whoever said "McDonalds," should be shot.

October 16th, 1997
Can't it ever be 11:37?

October 17th, 1997
A drunk midget always seems to get a good laugh, at a party.

October 21st, 1997
If you vomit, right after eating a side-order of fries, and two of them shoot out of your nose, that's pretty gross.    Especially if you eat them again.

October 22nd, 1997
Vagina.

October 26th, 1997
I wish I had a tail, so I could whip people I didn't like, and kill them.

October 27th, 1997
If you were walking down the street, and your heart suddenly stopped, and then everyone just stood around, laughing at you, that could be a real blow to your self-esteem.

October 28th, 1997
That would be funny if everyone called 1-800-WAL-MART and told them that they're boycotting their stupid store, until they STOP censoring the music and movies that they sell, because censorship is wrong, even if you do live in Arkansas.

October 29th, 1997
It sucks when you think you have knowledge of "all things 'Star Wars,'" and then you write a letter to someone, and spell the word "Wookiee" wrong.  I think I'll go kill myself, now.

October 30th, 1997
The older a person gets, the more pieces of crap have fallen out of their body, so - in that case - should we really respect our elders, or should we call them "stinky," and run away?

October 31st, 1997
Halloween would probably be better if all the girls had to be naked, and they let me play with their boobs.   

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