Profound Question/Thought of the Day for the Month of November

Ah . . . November, the month where the true holidays end (Halloween, OctoberFest), and the depressing fake ones begin.  Thank heaven I have chronic diarrhea, or I may have actually had to attend my family get-together this Thanksgiving.  As it was, I only had to drive to the general vicinity, and then call in sick.  Weeee!  I give thanks - dear turkey - that all the pilgrims are dead, and I have chronic turd-spray.  Amen.

November 4th, 1997
I'm the toothpaste hiding at the end of your empty tube.  I'm the backwash in your face

November 5th, 1997
If dinosaurs came back to life, I betcha there'd be some porn company trying to capture them for bestiality videos.

November 6th, 1997
People like looking at other people pretending that they're other people. 

November 7th, 1997
It's kinda neat when you have the shits, cuz your rectum's sorta like a chocolate squirtgun.

November 13th, 1997
Shooting diarrhea into a dixie-cup, to give the doctor a "stool specimen" isn't the funnest thing a person could be doing.

November 14th, 1997
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy a hooker, dress her up like Cousin It, and then I'd go to my brother's house, and scare him super bad, then I'd go home and fart.

November 15th, 1997
Slurping up Jell-O is kinda like eating a big, fruity boob. 

November 20th, 1997
I wonder if the real reason doctors wear masks is to hide how ugly their attitude is.

November 21st, 1997
One time there was a kitten I knew that was the runt of the litter.   Every other kitten hated it. I could identify.  So I decided to take it home.   I got the car, and went back to pick it up.  "Where's the runt?" I asked, "it died," my friends who bred lots of kittens said.  I could identify.

November 22nd, 1997
Chat rooms are like single-bars for really ugly people.

November 23rd, 1997
Yesterday's profound thought was better than this one.

November 25th, 1997
If I was GeoCities, I'd kill myself.

November 26th, 1997
I think this holiday season would be the best one ever if my uncle finally chokes on that bone he's always picking his teeth with.

You know the routine, just click it.


Boy, I wish I was still on GEOSHITIES.  It's such a nice, reliable company.  If I was on GeoShitties, I betcha I could get laid by girls, and stuff.   GeoShitties rules!  I love all those mandatory advertisments.  Oh, GeoShitties, I worship you.  (That was sarcastic.)